Zombie Dice, Get Bit! & Tsuro: Ryan Higa, Freddie Wong, Rod Roddenberry. TableTop Ep 3

Wil WHEATON: This may come as a
surprise to some of you, but my friends and I get together
a couple times a month for a game day. On a typical game day, we will
play a couple of hour-long strategy games and then settle
in for one of those three-hour long big box games. But in between them, we have a
really good time playing fun, fast, casual games. Today on TableTop,
Freddie Wong, Rod Roddenberry, and Ryan Higa. are all here to join
me in a trio of my favorite casual games– Zombie Dice, Tsuro,
and Get Bit. FREDDIE WONG: Hi, my name
is Freddie Wong. My friend and I, Brandon,
we made YouTube videos. ROD RODDENBERRY: My name’s
Rod Roddenberry. My father was Gene Roddenberry, creator of Star Trek. But I hope to be known as the
son who carried on his vision and legacy. RYAN HIGA: Hi, I’m Ryan Higa,
and basically all I do is make YouTube videos. Wil WHEATON: This is a path-finding, tile-laying game. We are flying dragons. On every turn, we will play
a title on the board. Every dragon touching that tile
has to follow the path it makes to completion– like this. Or like this. If you fly off the board,
you are eliminated. If you crash into another
dragon, you are eliminated. Who will be the last dragon
standing and win the game? Let’s find out. It’s time to play Tsuro. I will go first, and I will
play this tile here. And my dragon will go whoosh and
stop there, on that tile. Logic dictates that if you can
get to the center, then you have more options to fly around
before you’re forced into a wall and forced
off the game. So I was trying to get myself
into the center and then get everybody else out
to the sides. RYAN HIGA: I’m just going
to go straight. I just don’t like that
you’re right there. Wil WHEATON: Yeah, it’s scary. RYAN HIGA: I wasn’t big
on tabletop games. I’ve played Monopoly. I mean, Connect Four,
like just really basic games I guess. FREDDIE WONG: I do consider
myself a gamer, except I haven’t had a lot of time to
do it because of our video release schedule. But whenever I can, I try
and get the gaming on. I’m just going to chill out
over in this corner here. Wil WHEATON: Oh, it’s the
Tron gambit, out and an immediate left turn. FREDDIE WONG: Exactly. ROD RODDENBERRY: I’m going to
make a swooping right or left depending on where you’re
coming from here. The main idea is to just keep
finding a line and following it, and making sure it doesn’t
hit another dragon and go off the board. And it seems easy, but you
actually have to think multiple cards ahead. WIL WHEATON: Let’s see here. I’m going to continue
on this way. Whoosh. This is the fun of this game, is
that at this point it looks like everything looks
really great. We’re chilling out. We’re flying around. FREDDIE WONG: It’s got
the zen garden vibe. WIL WHEATON: And then it
completely devolves. RYAN HIGA: My strategy is
to stay away from Wil. Or anyone else better than me,
so I’m just going to be defensive and run away from
all the other dragons. WIL WHEATON: That’s a good. RYAN HIGA: I’m just going
to keep going straight. Let me fix this. There we go. FREDDIE WONG: I’m just
going to continue trucking along here. WIL WHEATON: OK. FREDDIE WONG: The edges
of the world. This point my strategy going
through this entire game is to avoid everybody. Any game with squiggly
lines causes massive amounts of confusion. ROD RODDENBERRY: I’ll just keep
going in that direction. Straight moving. WIL WHEATON: I’m going
to trap you. ROD RODDENBERRY: I feel like I
shouldn’t look at your cards, but I can’t even tell
by looking at them. Oh, you’ve got a squiggly line
and a straight line? Yeah, nice. WIL WHEATON: OK, I’m going
to make a tight turn. Yoink. RYAN HIGA: This is the closest
thing to a straight line, so I’m going this way. FREDDIE WONG: All right, I’m
chugging along here. WIL WHEATON: Wow, really? FREDDIE WONG: Yeah, man. WIL WHEATON: Man, look at you. Look at you go. FREDDIE WONG: I’m
building my– WIL WHEATON: You can only
do that for so long. FREDDIE WONG: Luckily I’ve been drawing nothing but straights. So I’m just going to be scooting
along the far edge of the table, where no one will
come into my path. So we’ll see how long
that lasts. WIL WHEATON: Sounds like you’re
not in a very good– ROD RODDENBERRY: No,
I’m trying to avoid green over here. WIL WHEATON: That’s
what I’m hearing. ROD RODDENBERRY: I don’t
know how much longer I can avoid green. WIL WHEATON: I think I’m going
to play right here like this. And I will go straight. RYAN HIGA: Yes, I actually have dragons working my fields. WIL WHEATON: Oh, look at
this, reversy swoop. Nice. FREDDIE WONG: Didn’t
expect that one. That’s cool. Just chilling. That’s my card. ROD RODDENBERRY: I’m getting
out of here. Taking this game really
seriously right now. I’m trying to plan like
three moves ahead. I think this game is
based on skill. Initially, I thought
it was luck. But you do have to look ahead
and see where your cards might put you. So there’s definitely some
strategy in there. WIL WHEATON: I think I’m going
to do something crazy. OK, hold on. Let me look at this. If I go that, then
I come like that. And then– FREDDIE WONG: The possibilities
could be a straight line, could be
a curved line here. WIL WHEATON: Oh,
wait a minute. No, because then that’s
going to happen. And I don’t want
that to happen. That is not at all what
I want to have happen. ROD RODDENBERRY: Wil’s strategy
was phenomenal. The way he’d talk through every
aspect, every move, you could hear his brain
crunching through. You could see the lines
that he was following. WIL WHEATON: All right, so I
think I’m going to do this. RYAN HIGA: I’ve never even
seen that one before. ROD RODDENBERRY: Playing the
bad-ass here, aren’t you? WIL WHEATON: Well, look out,
we got a bad-ass over here. I’m feeling really good. I think that I have a very good
chance of winning this. RYAN HIGA: I don’t really know
what I’m trying to do here, so I’ll just go this way. ROD RODDENBERRY: That’d
be messy. WIL WHEATON: Yeah. ROD RODDENBERRY: Can you put
multiple boards together? WIL WHEATON: I guess you
theoretically could. ROD RODDENBERRY: Just take
a half hour to get to– WIL WHEATON: What’s
that about? What are you doing? FREDDIE WONG: Getting up
in your grill, man. Your dragon grill. I think Ryan and I have a
distinct advantage as we’re dealing with the Asian
dragons here. I feel like I have a legacy of
heritage I can draw upon to sort of guide my actions. That’s what I’m calling
on, but who knows if that will work. We’re more attuned
to the movements. ROD RODDENBERRY: I’m doing– oh, I didn’t mean to do yet. WIL WHEATON: Oh,
it’s too late. ROD RODDENBERRY: Oh,
it’s too late. Oh! Oh, God. Look where you have to go. RYAN HIGA: Actually– WIL WHEATON: Oh, no. ROD RODDENBERRY: There’s
no way out of there. WIL WHEATON: Rod,
you’re screwed. FREDDIE WONG: Oh, there is. RYAN HIGA: No. WIL WHEATON: No,
you’re screwed. ROD RODDENBERRY: You know, you
got to think a couple cards ahead and I only thought
one card ahead. WIL WHEATON: OK, if I
do this, then I go– FREDDIE WONG: I think Wil’s
strategy is to intimidate. Because I noticed he’s taking
a lot of time with planning things out. I’m more of a do things for
no reason sort of guy. So hopefully, this sort of
randomness will throw a wrench Into his well-planned
gear works. WIL WHEATON: OK, I don’t know if
this is the smartest move, but I think it’s going
to be one of the coolest looking moves. So yeah, so I’m just going
to go like this and come out there. All right, Ryan. You’re up. RYAN HIGA: Right there. I’m just trying to avoid
you guys at this point. WIL WHEATON: You’re doing
a very good job of it. FREDDIE WONG: It would be a
great element to throw that in, where you could swoop
down and eat a child. RYAN HIGA: Dang, dude. WIL WHEATON: Oh, why
did you do that? RYAN HIGA: Yes. So you thought 30 moves ahead,
but you neglected to think 31. I need a card, actually. ROD RODDENBERRY: Straight in. I’m out. I got to say, it doesn’t feel
good to go out first. WIL WHEATON: Rod and I
have known each other for almost 30 years. And this is the first time we’ve
actually sat down to do actual gaming together. And I feel terrible that I’m
like, hey, come, play on my show, and my friend
isn’t winning. WIL WHEATON: Oh, no. Rod, I think I’m right
behind you. Think I’m right behind you. And if I die on this, you
are now my mortal enemy. FREDDIE WONG: Oh, it’s on. WIL WHEATON: Absolute complete
mortal enemy. FREDDIE WONG: It’s on
like Donkey Kong. WIL WHEATON: Hang on,
I just got to see if I can stay alive. Not that way. Not that way. That way? Oh, that way. RYAN HIGA: Whoa, his
voice got high. WIL WHEATON: Remember when I
said you were my mortal enemy? FREDDIE WONG: Did you
already defeat me? WIL WHEATON: Guess what? WIL WHEATON: Dang, dude. FREDDIE WONG: Oh my goodness. WIL WHEATON: Hang on. Let’s just fly around
for a minute, OK? FREDDIE WONG: No, the one card
in the deck that could have [INAUDIBLE]. WIL WHEATON: Oh. FREDDIE WONG: How could
[INAUDIBLE]? WIL WHEATON: Knocking Freddie
off the board right after I declared him my mortal enemy,
and then moving myself into a better position than anyone
else on the board? Play of the game. RYAN HIGA: See your strategies
apply to people who know what they’re doing. But I don’t. WIL WHEATON: No. RYAN HIGA: All right, so it’s
just me and you, Wil. So I guess you’re
going down now. WIL WHEATON: Oh, things just
got very interesting. Very interesting, indeed. Oh, no, that’s less
interesting. OK, so I am going to do this. RYAN HIGA: Ah, we’re trying
to outrun each other. WIL WHEATON: Yep. RYAN HIGA: OK. ROD RODDENBERRY: Is it possible
to fill the board having not run into
each other? WIL WHEATON: It is, yeah. I mean, it’s unlikely. Oh, boy. ROD RODDENBERRY: Wait,
where is that going? WIL WHEATON: That will
connect [INAUDIBLE]. FREDDIE WONG: The asterisk. WIL WHEATON: Yeah. Boy. FREDDIE WONG: We could
both flip the board, though, if you want. ROD RODDENBERRY: Right,
just start all over? FREDDIE WONG: Yeah. WIL WHEATON: We always talk
about how we would rage quit the games we’re playing
in real life. And they all end with flipping
over the table. FREDDIE WONG: You need to
build a table that has hydraulics. WIL WHEATON: Son of a bitch. You win. You win. RYAN HIGA: I [INAUDIBLE]. WIL WHEATON: I miscalculated. No, you don’t win. RYAN HIGA: Oh, dang. WIL WHEATON: Sorry. RYAN HIGA: Oh, man. OK. ROD RODDENBERRY: Yeah, I was
just going to say, he has got nowhere after this. RYAN HIGA: I think I can. WIL WHEATON: Oh, no. Can I get onto that? No, I can’t. I think I’m screwed. ROD RODDENBERRY: You
got nowhere to go. WIL WHEATON: I got
nowhere to go. FREDDIE WONG: Straight. WIL WHEATON: Oh, you’re right. FREDDIE WONG: Straight
into the blue. The long way around,
but that’s a loss. WIL WHEATON: You win. FREDDIE WONG: Yay. WIL WHEATON: Wow. Good game. RYAN HIGA: I ran away from
all the dragons. They happened to kill
themselves, so I just lived, and I ended up winning. ROD RODDENBERRY: Can we
change the name of the show to Beat Wil? Because it’s feeling good,
even though I didn’t win. I’m liking this. FREDDIE WONG: I feel like
in a way, we’ve all won. RYAN HIGA: It helps our odds. ROD RODDENBERRY: Exactly. WIL WHEATON: I’m feeling good. I think I’m coming back
in Zombie Dice. ROD RODDENBERRY: All right. OK, let’s do that. WIL WHEATON: This is a
press-your-luck dice game. We are all zombies trying to
fill our undead bellies with delicious, delicious brains. On every turn, we will draw
three dice from the cup. Each die represents
a human survivor. Or, as we call them, lunch. We roll the dice. We then keep all of the
brains and all of the shots to the face. Now, we have a choice to make. We can stop and score
the brains, or we can press our luck. There’s one special die. It’s this guy. He’s the runner. If we choose to roll again, we
have to include him in the three dice total, because we
haven’t caught him yet. You keep rolling until you are
shot in the face three times or you choose to stop and score
all of the brains in front of you. The first player to score
13 or more brains wins. Here’s Zombie Dice. Ryan, you won Tsuro, so you
go first in Zombie Dice. RYAN HIGA: Nice. All right. FREDDIE WONG: Finally,
a game that doesn’t rely on other people. RYAN HIGA: All right,
just three right. WIL WHEATON: Yeah, drag three
people out of the cup. That’s pretty good, couple
of babies and a– RYAN HIGA: Two brains
and I will go again. WIL WHEATON: Zombie
Dice is awesome. No one ever gets out
to a huge lead. Everybody’s in the game all
the way from the very beginning all the way
until the very end. RYAN HIGA: So two more. WIL WHEATON: Two more
dice, yeah. [GUNSHOT] WIL WHEATON: That’s two
runners and a shot. Oh, that’s tough. RYAN HIGA: I will– wait, wait, wait. FREDDIE WONG: Do it. Do it. RYAN HIGA: Yeah, the red one. FREDDIE WONG: Do it. RYAN HIGA: The red one gives you
a higher change of getting shot, right? WIL WHEATON: You only
have one shot. Why aren’t you going? RYAN HIGA: So much pressure. All right, I’m going to go in. WIL WHEATON: I’m goading him
into rolling more dice. I can’t believe he’s
going for it. FREDDIE WONG: See. WIL WHEATON: Three brains. See, that was a good idea. RYAN HIGA: Thanks, Freddie. WIL WHEATON: OK, he’s rolled
a little more brains than I would expect. But the shots are coming. The shots are coming. So now you have– RYAN HIGA: Actually,
I’m going to stop. WIL WHEATON: You have
five brains. RYAN HIGA: I’m going to stop. So put this back, right? WIL WHEATON: Keep going. Keep going. FREDDIE WONG: Yeah, you
should continue. So I’m telling him to continue
rolling, but I know the odds are with me. RYAN HIGA: I mean, I’m listening
to these guys and they keep telling me to roll, so
I’m going to keep rolling. I don’t care if the odds
are against me. Never say never. 3D. You’re right. You’re right. FREDDIE WONG: Do it. Do it. WIL WHEATON: That’s
sort of even. RYAN HIGA: Oh, look
what happened. WIL WHEATON: Seriously! RYAN HIGA: I’m just really
good at this. ROD RODDENBERRY: Our strategy
has been to encourage him to keep rolling the die. And he keeps doing it. And he keeps getting brains. And it’s really not our
intention for him to succeed at this. RYAN HIGA: If I get
another red– WIL WHEATON: Distribution of the
dice, there’s more greens than anything else in the cup. RYAN HIGA: Yes. WIL WHEATON: And then it
goes down and down. RYAN HIGA: And I only
have three greens. WIL WHEATON: You have
three greens out. RYAN HIGA: So that means this
next one is a green. WIL WHEATON: Maybe it is. Yeah. ROD RODDENBERRY: You distract
him [INAUDIBLE]. FREDDIE WONG: Oh, god. Really? RYAN HIGA: I’m going
to get shot. FREDDIE WONG: Walking. WIL WHEATON: Three runners. RYAN HIGA: So again,
same thing? WIL WHEATON: Yeah, you got
to re-roll them again. OK. RYAN HIGA: Brain. ROD RODDENBERRY: No you won’t. RYAN HIGA: Huh, what is that? Oh, that’s right. I don’t know what that is,
because I haven’t gotten shot. ROD RODDENBERRY: I’m never
going to get to play. WIL WHEATON: Yep, there’s
one red left. RYAN HIGA: And I’m going
to take one green. WIL WHEATON: OK. [GUNSHOT] RYAN HIGA: OK I’m
going to stop. I’m not going to be risky. WIL WHEATON: Why are you
going to stop now? You’re doing so well. ROD RODDENBERRY: You’ll
break a record. FREDDIE WONG: Continue doing
what you’re doing. It’s great. RYAN HIGA: I mean, go big
or go home, right? ROD RODDENBERRY:
Yeah, exactly. WIL WHEATON: Yeah, right. RYAN HIGA: This one is
going to be a green. WIL WHEATON: Ryan should not be
able to keep calling what he’s going to pull
out of the cup. And I’m watching his face. He’s not looking in the cup. He’s a witch. FREDDIE WONG: This table’s
getting flipped. RYAN HIGA: Brains. WIL WHEATON: In order for this
to statistically balance out in the rest of the universe,
an entire planet just collapsed into a black hole. That’s amazing. FREDDIE WONG: Yes. WIL WHEATON: You were supposed
to roll a shotgun. I was not actually
cheering for you. RYAN HIGA: No, I know. WIL WHEATON: I was
goading you. WIL WHEATON: All right,
count up your brains. One, two three, four, five,
six, seven, eight, nine. RYAN HIGA: 10. WIL WHEATON: I’m going
to reach into the bucket of brains. Oh my god, you have 10 brains? One, two, three– FREDDIE WONG: So Ryan had
the most insane lucky streak of all time. But luckily we’re dealing
with a magic hands here. And I think I can match it. WIL WHEATON: Goes to Freddie. I have never seen that happen. What the [BLEEP]. FREDDIE WONG: Great,
red, yellow. All right. WIL WHEATON: He was going to
stop at two, and we talked him into going. [GUNSHOT] FREDDIE WONG: Two brains. Took a shot. I’m good. ROD RODDENBERRY: Anyone ever
tell you not to play with your brain at the table? FREDDIE WONG: I’m going
to continue here. All right, that’s not bad. WIL WHEATON: Two more brains and
a runner, a green runner. OK. ROD RODDENBERRY: He’s catching
up, I guess. FREDDIE WONG: Two. [GUNSHOT] WIL WHEATON: Oh, shot
in the face. No brains. FREDDIE WONG: These
didn’t work. ROD RODDENBERRY: I’m up. [GUNSHOT] WIL WHEATON: Dang, a shot
and two runners. FREDDIE WONG: Shot
and two runners. ROD RODDENBERRY: What
is this, guys? The odds are back in my
favor, technically. RYAN HIGA: Well, I kind of
used up all the rolls. ROD RODDENBERRY:
Oh, I got two– [GUNSHOT] ROD RODDENBERRY: –and a shot. WIL WHEATON: I was putting them
together so our camera crew can see what
you get there. You got two shots
and two greens. RYAN HIGA: Just keep going. I think that’s the smart
thing to do. WIL WHEATON: Yeah, it worked
out really well for you. ROD RODDENBERRY: No, no. You know what? WIL WHEATON: You’re
going to stop? ROD RODDENBERRY: I’m stopping. RYAN HIGA: That’s two brains. WIL WHEATON: I owe
you two brains. ROD RODDENBERRY: It’s more
than I need anyways. 2 down, 12 to go. WIL WHEATON: If I made a
reference to Merv Griffin being the elevator killer, would
any of you know what I was talking about? No? Nobody? The Man with Two Brains. It is a reference to The
Man with Two Brains. It is a delightful Steve
Martin movie. All right, I got two yellows
and a green. [GUNSHOT] RYAN HIGA: It’s like
hip now, though. Keep doing it. WIL WHEATON: OK, thanks. Come on, greens. [GUNSHOT] WIL WHEATON: Seriously? Two brains and a runner. ROD RODDENBERRY: So what
are you going to do? WIL WHEATON: If he gets to 13,
I still get another round no matter what. So I’m going to stop. I’m going to stop with two. RYAN HIGA: Just want
to play safe. WIL WHEATON: Sorry,
that was very bad sportsmanship on my part. I insincerely apologize. RYAN HIGA: I’m really
confident that these three are greens. FREDDIE WONG: Oh my goodness. WIL WHEATON: What the– FREDDIE WONG: He’s cheating. WIL WHEATON: Ryan is cheating
Ryan is using magic. You’re a witch, aren’t you? RYAN HIGA: Yeah, I’m a wizard. FREDDIE WONG: He’s cheating. We need to get the games
commission in here. RYAN HIGA: OK. [GUNSHOT] RYAN HIGA: Two. WIL WHEATON: That’s 12. That’s 12. You’re one away from creating
the end game. FREDDIE WONG: Forcing
a victory. WIL WHEATON: Come on,
shotgun, shotgun, shotgun, shotgun, shotgun. RYAN HIGA: One more brain,
and I will do it again. ROD RODDENBERRY: And
two runners. WIL WHEATON: If he doesn’t
get three shots and he ends his turn– RYAN HIGA: But I could
end my turn. WIL WHEATON: You can’t end your
turn because you took dice out of the cup. But you’ll have– at least,
you’ll have a minimum of 13 brains. Which begins the end game, which
means each of us gets one more turn. ROD RODDENBERRY: It’s so
puny to my two brains. WIL WHEATON: To get six–
hey, hey, hey. ROD RODDENBERRY: Well,
you know what? WIL WHEATON: We got
to stick together. RYAN HIGA: This is not going
to be two shotguns, so I think it’s over. I think it’s over guys,
I’m sorry to say. WIL WHEATON: 14. RYAN HIGA: OK. I’m done. WIL WHEATON: This
is bull [BEEP]. FREDDIE WONG: So I have
one round to get 15 in order to win this. WIL WHEATON: 14 brains. ROD RODDENBERRY: That’s
unbelievable. WIL WHEATON: Wow. FREDDIE WONG: All right,
here we go. [GUNSHOTS] FREDDIE WONG: Shot
twice already. WIL WHEATON: Oh, god. Shot on a green. That’s so rude. RYAN HIGA: Love averages. FREDDIE WONG: This is just– WIL WHEATON: There’s only
shot on the greens. FREDDIE WONG: I know. RYAN HIGA: Just go for it. FREDDIE WONG: This is what
happens to me in Vegas. I just go until I lose. It’s like– [GUNSHOTS] WIL WHEATON: Oh, no. Overkill. FREDDIE WONG: Just
roll all of them. WIL WHEATON: Is that your key? That’s your trick? RYAN HIGA: Yeah. WIL WHEATON: Oh, OK. All right, that’s not bad. FREDDIE WONG: Good start. [GUNSHOT] ROD RODDENBERRY: One shot. WIL WHEATON: One shot
and two runners. ROD RODDENBERRY: One shot
and two runners. Here we go. Red one. [GUNSHOTS] FREDDIE WONG: I don’t
want to look. Our last great hope here. That’s it. It’s over. WIL WHEATON: Yeah. Oh, boy. FREDDIE WONG: Harsh, bro. WIL WHEATON: All right. ROD RODDENBERRY: It hurts. FREDDIE WONG: Rod’s been playing
disappointingly. I was hoping that he and I could
sort of team up and like gang up on these two punks. But I’m getting shot out. He’s getting shot out. This is just a horrible
evening. ROD RODDENBERRY: Look at that. WIL WHEATON: Really? Really? FREDDIE WONG: He’s mocking us. WIL WHEATON: Really? RYAN HIGA: I’m a happy zombie,
what can I say? ROD RODDENBERRY: Sorry, I
normally don’t throw my brains at people, but– WIL WHEATON: I got two
yellows and a green. FREDDIE WONG: Oh, that’s
not that good. [GUNSHOT] ROD RODDENBERRY: I never thought
I’d say this, but I hope Wil wins. FREDDIE WONG: I got
to agree with Rod. Because the last thing in the
world I want is Wil to win. But I want Wil to win. FREDDIE WONG: What are
the odds, man? What are the odds? WIL WHEATON: The odds
are [BLEEP]. Three brains. ROD RODDENBERRY: All right,
you’re getting there. WIL WHEATON: All
right, come on. FREDDIE WONG: Oh. WIL WHEATON: Two brains. RYAN HIGA: Getting nervous. I’m sweating again. WIL WHEATON: It comes down to
you and me just like it did in the last game? This is ridiculous. You’re the best around. Nothing’s going to ever
Zombie Dice also. RYAN HIGA: Let’s do it again. Let’s do it again, guys. WIL WHEATON: All right, the only
chance we have to prevent Ryan from winning– FREDDIE WONG: Some sort
of an alliance. WIL WHEATON: –all three games
and getting the trophy is to somehow make him get
bit four times. So Get Bit’s coming up next. This is a bluffing game. It was designed by my friend,
Dave Chalker. We are all robots out for
a leisurely swim in shark-infested waters. Each turn, to figure out which
one of us is swimming the fastest, we will play a card
from our hand numbered one through five. The fastest number goes to the
front of the line and the slowest number will go to
the back of the line. The robot who is closer
to the shark gets bit. Chomp! We each have four limbs. So if you are bitten four times,
you become Achor Bot 9000 and spend the rest
of your days on the bottom of the sea. Who will be the last
robot swimming? We’re about to find out. Let’s get bit. Ryan? RYAN HIGA: Yes. WIL WHEATON: You’re
going to go first. RYAN HIGA: OK. WIL WHEATON: Oh, and I guess
we should probably tell the kids at home what
color we are. I’m yellow. RYAN HIGA: I’m green. ROD RODDENBERRY: Blue. FREDDIE WONG: Purple. WIL WHEATON: All right,
so now you know. Finally, we are playing a game
that involves skill, psychology, and a little
bit of game theory. I’ve got this. These are all skills
that I used when I was a poker player. I have got this. All right. ROD RODDENBERRY: Oh. WIL WHEATON: Hey, fun fact. Rod is an accomplished
SCUBA diver. RYAN HIGA: Tah-dah. WIL WHEATON: I love that the
SCUBA flippers fell off the wall right when I said
that you’re an accomplished SCUBA diver. ROD RODDENBERRY: Not very
accomplished though, are we? WIL WHEATON: Yeah, I
guess we can just– we’ll reveal our cards. RYAN HIGA: All right. WIL WHEATON: OK. ROD RODDENBERRY: You’re
in my way. WIL WHEATON: Sorry. FREDDIE WONG: Oh. WIL WHEATON: All right, so the
ones are not going to move. All right, so I played
a three. So I’m in the front. And Ryan played a two, so
he’s going to be second. And then Freddie and Rod
both played ones. Now here comes the shark. But first turn. ROD RODDENBERRY: I
got a freebie. WIL WHEATON: First turns, the
shark does not bite you. But he gets– ROD RODDENBERRY: I
keep my limbs. WIL WHEATON: He gets ever
closer and menaces you. ROD RODDENBERRY: Close
enough to pet. WIL WHEATON: Menace,
menace, menace. FREDDIE WONG: How do you
survive a shark attack? Because you’re from Hawaii,
so you would know this. RYAN HIGA: Most sharks– because
I’m from Hawaii, I can speak to them. So you just give
them this line [SPEAKS MOCK HAWAIIAN] Like that, with that voice,
I got it down. I got it down. FREDDIE WONG: Got you WIL WHEATON: I don’t know
what that means. WIL WHEATON: So let’s see
what happens now. All right, I play a two. Ryan plays a three. Freddie plays a three,
and Rod plays a four. ROD RODDENBERRY: I’m
going to live. WIL WHEATON: An excellent
idea. So you are going
to move up one. You guys don’t move at all. And I actually move back. So Freddie– FREDDIE WONG: Can it
take his head? WIL WHEATON: Freddie gets bit. FREDDIE WONG: It’s
OK, it’s a robot. He doesn’t need the head. ROD RODDENBERRY: Perfect. FREDDIE WONG: There we go. ROD RODDENBERRY: You’re
clearly not from Hawaii, are you? FREDDIE WONG: This
is how it works. RYAN HIGA: Poker faces. I have a really good
poker face. Most people are just like
this, all nonchalant. Mine’s like this. Freddie can’t read this. Wil can’t read this. Rod doesn’t even know
what I’m doing. WIL WHEATON: All right,
I hope that I’m making the right call here. ROD RODDENBERRY: I know I’m
making the right call. RYAN HIGA: I am, too. WIL WHEATON: I played a one. Ryan played a five. Freddie played a four. And Rod played a three. FREDDIE WONG: OK, so
you go first up. WIL WHEATON: So I go
up first to one. And then three goes. And then four comes out
of the shark’s mouth. And then five goes
to the front. FREDDIE WONG: Well, he
doesn’t have a head. WIL WHEATON: The shark comes
up and goes, I will take your left arm! Chomp, chomp, chomp. And then he hangs off of me
just sort of like that. RYAN HIGA: I’m not really
worried about Freddie or Rod to be honest. I am most worried about Wil,
because I feel like he’s played this a lot before. WIL WHEATON: Let’s go
ahead and reveal. I play a four, Rod plays a five,
Ryan plays one, Freddie plays a five. Oh, this works out exactly
the way I hoped it would. All right. ROD RODDENBERRY: Not for me. WIL WHEATON: Because you’re the
slowest, you would move forward, but you’re already in
the front, so you just stay right there. Then, four is going to move
up in front of you. And then the fives aren’t
going to move at all. Oh, noes. And now blue loses your
break dancing leg. I know that a lot of robot
activists might be a little concerned about this, but these
robots are specifically programmed not to
feel pain when they’re bitten by a shark. RYAN HIGA: Poker face. WIL WHEATON: OK, ready? RYAN HIGA: I have no idea
what’s going on. WIL WHEATON: Ryan plays a four,
I play a three, Rod plays a five, And Freddie
plays a three. So Freddie and I are
not going to move. ROD RODDENBERRY: And I’m
not going to go. WIL WHEATON: So the four
moves up like this. And then the five moves
up like this. And then the shark comes
up like that. And you get bit, Freddie. ROD RODDENBERRY: What’s
it going to be? FREDDIE WONG: I’m
going to lose– I’m going to do– WIL WHEATON: You’re going to
get to theoretically keep– FREDDIE WONG: The legs. No, see because that’s
four now. So I got two arms left. WIL WHEATON: OK. Remember guys, remember,
Ryan is the enemy. ROD RODDENBERRY: Yeah,
that’s right. RYAN HIGA: My strategy
was reading the faces of the opponents. No, it was really just to
pick a number and then see what they had. And go based off that. WIL WHEATON: All right,
I’m locked in. ROD RODDENBERRY: Here’s
my Ryan killer. WIL WHEATON: You have a little
bit of leeway when you’re in the front. ROD RODDENBERRY: Are you sure
you want to play that card? RYAN HIGA: I’m positive. ROD RODDENBERRY: Are you sure? RYAN HIGA: Flip them. WIL WHEATON: He sang a
song to the shark. I don’t know why we’re even
bothering to play the game. RYAN HIGA: Perfect. WIL WHEATON: Ryan
played a two. Freddie played a two. FREDDIE WONG: This
is ridiculous. He’s totally used– WIL WHEATON: Rod played a three,
and I played a five. So the twos aren’t going
to move at all. The three is going to
go to the front. And then the five is
going to go up– FREDDIE WONG: Oh, wonderful. I got my cards back. Fantastic. [INAUDIBLE]. WIL WHEATON: Oh, no. You’re really having
a hard time. ROD RODDENBERRY: You’re not
doing too well, my friend. WIL WHEATON: There you go. There’s another limb for you. FREDDIE WONG: Ryan is
just locked onto me. WIL WHEATON: Ryan is so deep
into Freddie’s head that Freddie doesn’t even know
what state he is in. I can either play the
two or the one. I’m just going to do you a
solid and give you some– ROD RODDENBERRY: All
right, here we go. WIL WHEATON: –extra
information. Ready? FREDDIE WONG: You flip
yours first. Son of a– [LAUGHTER] FREDDIE WONG: That’s
such bollocks. I think Ryan is like– he’s thinking my thoughts
before I am. It’s like this total like I
can’t do anything without him knowing about it. It’s really freaking me out. WIL WHEATON: Ryan is just
destroying him. FREDDIE WONG: I hate
you so much. WILL WHEATON: One moves up. Then two moves up. The threes don’t move. And you are eaten. You get bit. Oh, sorry dude. RYAN HIGA: Are you out? FREDDIE WONG: Yeah, I’m out. Thanks very much. Oh my goodness. RYAN HIGA: Like I said, I took
out Freddie because I can read his face. His face is really
easy to read. You know I have a
one and a four. WILL WHEATON: I do know that. RYAN HIGA: And we know
that he played a two. So I’m going to do this. WILL WHEATON: I played a five. One, and two, RYAN HIGA: That’s not good. WILL WHEATON: OK. Ryan played a one, so
he moves first. Rod plays a two, so he moves
up ahead of Ryan. And then I, with my super kicky
rocket legs, go swimming like a boss up to the front. And I can’t believe it. You guys. you guys, you guys,
look what’s happening. ROD RODDENBERRY: All right. WILL WHEATON: Ryan got bit. Ryan’s victory train goes off
the rails right here. Go on, swim away from me. Do it. Do it now. He’s Arnold Sharksenneger. ROD RODDENBERRY: Very nice. Very, very nice. Now, come on. I’m taking this seriously. WILL WHEATON: Oh, man. ROD RODDENBERRY: That is good. WILL WHEATON: Oh,
this is what I– ROD RODDENBERRY:
That’s perfect. WILL WHEATON: All right, that
works out well for me. Ryan plays a five. Rod and I both play fours. So green’s going to move up. Blue and– well, blue, you’re
swimming the wrong way. You swimming right
towards him. Look. No, he’s swimming right
towards him, so you lose an arm. ROD RODDENBERRY: Lose an arm. WILL WHEATON: Chomp. ROD RODDENBERRY: I
keep getting my limbs bit off by Wil. He put me out. Thanks. FREDDIE WONG: Just getting
a little preview of what’s to come. WILL WHEATON: OK, ready? RYAN HIGA: Are you kidding me? That’s awesome, guys. That’s great. Good job. WILL WHEATON: All right, so
Rod and I played threes. Ryan played a four. So Ryan would move up,
but he doesn’t. and then Rod gets bit. ROD RODDENBERRY: Wil I
kept matching cards. And sadly, when you match cards,
your guy doesn’t move. The shark just kept taking bite
after bite after bite. WILL WHEATON: OK. RYAN HIGA: All right,
let’s see it. WILL WHEATON: All right, this
will surprise everyone. ROD RODDENBERRY: What? I’d like to change the name
of this game to Bite Me. I want to lose my limb
appropriately. Can we– Got a good grip in this. WILL WHEATON: Yep. ROD RODDENBERRY: I’ll just
sink to the bottom. WILL WHEATON: Yeah,
that’s all right. ROD RODDENBERRY: Thanks. The sharks are going to be
chasing the guys above who are surviving, and I’ll just kind
of hang out down there. I have no arms, no legs. Can’t really move around. But at least the fish
will be my friends. WILL WHEATON: In every one of
these games, it has come down to me and Ryan. I’m tired of being
the best loser. It’s time for me to win. FREDDIE WONG: You guys need
to go head to head here. This is it. WILL WHEATON: Yeah, but
here’s the thing. It’s the last round. FREDDIE WONG: One hit. WILL WHEATON: So it’s one hit. And I have one card. RYAN HIGA: And I have two. WILL WHEATON: You want
to guess what it is? Ryan has two cards. RYAN HIGA: Seven. FREDDIE WONG: There’s a lot
of pressure on this thing. WILL WHEATON: It is
mathematically impossible for Ryan to lose this game. OK, go ahead. Play your card. Play your card. Sit in your tower. RYAN HIGA: Which one? WILL WHEATON: Sit
in your tower. WILL WHEATON: I play a one. Ryan plays a one. I don’t move. I get bit by the shark. I die. Not only do you win, but
you win with three freaking limbs intact. RYAN HIGA: All in. I don’t think I knew what I
was doing, to be honest. Most of it was guessing. WILL WHEATON: Oh, come on. Ryan, you have earned a trip to
the Victory Wall, which is downstairs. You will get your trophy. Freddie and Rod– FREDDIE WONG: I didn’t
going to go– ROD RODDENBERRY: You win
a trip out the door. FREDDIE WONG: We’re leaving
immediately. WILL WHEATON: We are
going to go– FREDDIE WONG: Drink
our sorrows away. WILL WHEATON: Curse Ryan
in the Loser’s Lounge. FREDDIE WONG: Oh, that
was horrible. ROD RODDENBERRY: All right. I’ll be a good sport and– oh, yeah. Yeah. RYAN HIGA: All I need
is myself, baby. All I need is myself. ROD RODDENBERRY: That’s right. I’m a big man. WILL WHEATON: Guys. FREDDIE WONG: Where
were you, man? I thought you were going
to help us out. WILL WHEATON: I had to set up
a couple of things before I came here to join you in
the Awesome Lounge. FREDDIE WONG: Right. It’s where cool people
hangout. ROD RODDENBERRY: They told me
this was the loser’s couch. WILL WHEATON: Yeah,
well we lied. Because Ryan is downstairs in
the “Winner’s Wall.” But this is where the party’s at. Interns– bourbon. Let’s go. ROD RODDENBERRY: I’m in. WILL WHEATON: Well, then I’m
going to go downstairs, and I’m going to take care of
contractual obligations. I will be right back. ROD RODDENBERRY: Got it. FREDDIE WONG: Sweet. ROD RODDENBERRY: Thanks for
letting us lose, buddy. WILL WHEATON: Ryan,
congratulations on your increasingly improbable series
of already statistically improbable victories. RYAN HIGA: I mean, yeah. I like to attribute
that to my skill. But, you know. WILL WHEATON: Well, attribute
it to whatever you want to attribute it to. You kicked our asses. So it is my pleasure now to
present you with the Official TableTop Trophy of Awesome. Now, this trophy has been
handcrafted at great expense. This is not just some crappy
cheerleading trophy that we had our intern, Lindsay,
buy off of eBay for $5. Now I’m going to engrave
your name on it. RYAN HIGA: Oh, you’re
going to engrave it? WILL WHEATON: This is something
that you’re going to want to keep forever. And let me tell you
something else special about this trophy. Usually on TableTop when someone
wins, we have to take the trophy back because we
don’t have enough in the budget to get more than one. But you’re going to
get to keep this. RYAN HIGA: Really? WILL WHEATON: And I’m going to
spend money out of my own pocket to create an exact
replica for the next episode. RYAN HIGA: That must
be a lot of money. WILL WHEATON: It’s a lot of
money for something like this. So Ryan, you have more
than earned this. RYAN HIGA: Thank you so much. WILL WHEATON: Please, make
a victory speech. RYAN HIGA: I want to– I mean, I couldn’t have
done this on my own. Obviously, this is great. I want to thank all
my sponsors. I want to thank my family and
friends who have always supported me. And, of course, Will Smith. He is the greatest actor. I love him. My inspiration. Thank you, Will Smith. Thank you so much. Love it. This is great. WILL WHEATON: Well,
congratulations. And have a lovely day. We will see you next
time on TableTop. RYAN HIGA: See you. [MUSIC PLAYING] WILL WHEATON: Fucking
Will Smith. Every goddamn time. Sorry, guys. All they had was top shelf. Oh, come on. Well, bourbon, I think
you know what to do. Really? Crickets? It’s a little on the nose,
don’t you think? [MUSIC PLAYING]


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