TSL Plays: The Singaporean Dream


(Collective horrified screaming)
Welcome to another episode of TSL Plays!
Today, we are playing…
The Singaporean Dream!
Here are the rules.
Hello everyone, I’m your auntie.
You know, I’m very kiasu, so I can look at the dream cards here…
and I can buy a card at a discount of $200k!
I’m the PSLE top scorer,
and I have to discard one action pile to protect all my dreams.
Hi, I’m the Malay Ah Beng.
Also known as the mat beng.
Also a part-time loanshark.
That means I can force them to give me a cash card of their choice.
Morning sir. I’m an NSF for the Singapore Army.
I can protect my dreams by doing 10 push-ups.
Who is going to start first?
(PD) The person that’s going to start first…
is the person that entered the room last.
– Me?
– (PD) Yeah.
Sian. I entered last?
Wow. I love my cards.
I will draw two cards.
Ok, I’ll skip.
Ok, I’ll draw two cards.
I’ve got no cash. Sorry.
Why are you telling us this?
– I’ll skip.
– During the first round, typically everyone will skip.
Skip.
Ok.. I’m going to start playing.
I’ll put my money money money…
I’ll buy my first dream.
Ka-ching.
Ok, I’m done.
Ok, I’ll draw two cards…
Cash… Fauzi, give me $100,000.
Wah, sian.
Ok, Auntie has a bit of money hee hor.
‘Hee hor’?
Are you a donkey?
Ah boy, don’t say so much.
I’ll sabotage you later.
Auntie, you’re my mother.
– I will not have such a good-for-nothing son!
– Oh, my God. What if we are all family?
I don’t want this kind of family.
I only want Ah Mei here.
– You don’t want your son here?
– I serve the country!
– Ah Boy, let me tell you…
– Which Ah Boy?!
I’ll destroy you!
I’ll steal one dream! Give it to me.
– From me?
– From you.
Why do you keep looking at me for?
Oh, no! I’m going to play the ‘Siam insurance agent’ card.
‘Escape an action played against you.’ Sorry, auntie.
You know what? This card is called ‘Chope’.
The last player that puts their hand on the
cards has to discard one card from their hand.
It’s you!
Auntie! Do you know how to play the game?
Ok, I’ll discard this.
Oh, my God. Really? Ok.
– This is Sang Nila Utama.
– I can’t believe you discarded this.
That card is good!
– Just listen to the auntie…
– Ok, I’ll let you play whatever you want to play.
Wow, you’re rich.
Steal one cash card from the player
with the highest value of cash in the bank.
Ah Girl is going to buy a dream.
Wow… Ah Girl!
Wow, Ah Girl – you’re paying off your housing loan by 40?
You’re only 12 years old so what kind of
housing loan are you going to pay off?
We must prepare for the future.
– Ok, are you done?
– Yes.
Ok, I will put cash and date an ang moh.
‘Take two cash cards from the discard pile’.
There’s two. Just nice.
This Ah Beng is also the Minister of Parliament.
– Huh?!
– ‘Introduce a rule for all other players in the game’.
‘Players pay you $100,000 each time they do not comply’.
You all will be playing this game with your
elbows planted on the table at all times.
– How are you going to draw your cards?
– You still have to do it.
No need! ‘All other players’.
I’M THE MINISTER!
– Oh, my God! You’re evil!
– (Fauzi laughs like a demented ghost)
I’ll also play my last action…
‘Target player pays me $200,000 for illegal parking’.
You. Thank you, ma’am.
Alright, draw two cards.
– It’s so hard to have both elbows on the table.
– That’s why.
‘Stand Up For Singapore’. Steal one dream from the player who stands up last.
Y’all be trippin’!
– Ok, but who’s the last?
– It’s you.
– Me?!
– Yes.
Take it. Take it!
‘Siam eye contact’. Steal one dream from the
first person who looks you in the eye.
– Your turn.
– I have no dreams, so I can look.
Yeah, you have no dreams.
– Continue playing the game.
– It’s ok; I don’t want to look at her anyway.
Did you look? Did you look?
Oh, my god! Chris!
So fast!
Oh, my God! Chris…
See? This Ah Boy says he doesn’t want to look, but he cannot help it.
Auntie is so chio.
I’m scared that Auntie will… complain to the gahmen about me!
I already did three actions…
Wait, wait. You check for me!
– No, check yourself!
– Check for me!
– Check for me!
– Check yourself!
– You got one more action!
– Ok.
– I want to punch her!
– Oi!
I’m an Ah Beng so I don’t care about boundaries.
Ok, I’ll skip.
Wah! You took damn long to decide!
I’m gonna take my time.
I have no choice, so I’ll try this.
– What’s this?
– Recite the Singapore pledge.
Oh my God!
– You better say it right.
– You don’t know the Singapore pledge?!
Say it correctly and put (your fist) at your chest.
– Yes!
– Yeah, you see? No mistakes!
– So dramatic for one dream.
– I know. Very.
And for my last action… I’ll use my special power!
Discard one action card as payment to protect all your dreams for a round.
Asscuse me?!
I’m trying to sort this out!
My blood is boiling.
I want to draw my card!
I skip your queue lah!
– Oh my God…
– Auntie cut queue!
I say, ‘Gahmen say cannot’!
It’s your turn.
– Yeah.
– I also… (have this card)!
Want to play? Auntie play!
I’ll use my special power.
I’ll look at the first three.
Then, I can buy one get one free.
Because I’ve got the ‘Great Singapore Sale’!
– So I’ll take another one.
– Pass.
(PD) Auntie, got pay money or not?
Auntie forget.
Give you $200,000.
Free money from the gahmen!
‘Pick one cash card from the discard pile’. Wait, wait.
First, you got scholarship. Now, you want free money.
You want the gahmen to pay for everything?
What should I do?
She ignored Auntie.
This is having no manners, Ah Girl.
Don’t let it get to your head.
Auntie has lived a long life and I have seen lots of people.
– This Auntie is damn frustrating.
– I cannot sia.
She’s nagging everyday…
Buy dream.
Oh! The PSLE top scorer is going to marry a doctor or lawyer.
That’s the dream.
My mummy says I can only marry a doctor or lawyer.
Good girl.
– Done?
– Ah Beng, it’s your turn.
Ok, finally.
I’ll play…
‘Successful NS deferment.
Pursue your career in sports and gain one dream’.
I’ll become a CEO.
I’ll play… my special power.
– I choose… one of you.
– Don’t look at me! I got nothing.
Do you know why?
– She’s going to give you her lowest…
– Oh, good. Clever.
I choose you! Give me money.
Thanks, Auntie.
This Auntie is so rude.
I’ll buy that dream…
– These people are helping me. I’m loving it.
– I don’t want Auntie to win.
I also don’t want Auntie to win!
Thank you! I’ll get BTO flat on the first try!
+1 for Ah Beng.
I sincerely hope that one of you will get that card.
– The Parliament card.
– Yes!
– Yeah, boi!
– Does anybody want to cut (the deck)?
It’s not ban luck!
Draw card!
Oh, my God! Pay me $100,000.
Finally!
– Finally I have money!
– He is damn excited.
Ok… buy dream.
Yes! I finally have a dream.
Ok, school gets canceled – two extra actions.
Nice!
Auntie come after you!
Why are you coming after me?
You have more money than me!
– Ok, siam eye contact. Don’t look at me.
– Oh, my God.
It immediately makes you the most unpopular player in the room.
You didn’t need to try.
– So rude!
– This Auntie…
I’ll use my special power!
I’ll buy two!
– Ok.
– Then it’s half price.
I’ll play this.
‘Choose two players to hold hands for three turns’.
If they let go, they lose a dream. These two!
Nice!
Taichi!
Oh…
– Can we make her hold hands?
– Yes!
It will be her and… Oh, fudge!
I looked at Chris!
Yes! I didn’t even realize!
– What do you get? One dream?
– $100,000.
Chris, you can take one dream from me and we’ll end ‘siam eye contact’.
Two NSF! Auntie, and Ah Girl.
– Three rounds, right?
– Wait…
Steal one dream from the person that stands up last.
Who was last?
Ah hah! Yes! It’s happening – she’s going down!
Take one dream from her.
– Oh…
– ‘Gahmen say cannot’!
I’m going to set a new rule as Minister of Parliament.
At the end of every round, you must lick your foot.
No!
– We can remove our elbows already, right?
– Yes!
– Girl! Hold my hand!
– Yes, I’m still holding your hand!
Ok, I’m going to play ‘Online love scam’.
Target player kena scammed – swap your entire bank with target player.
I’ll swap with you, Auntie.
Target player kena scammed – swap your entire bank with target player.
I’ll swap with you, Auntie.
I’ll play ‘ STOMP someone and destroy someone’s life’.
Steal one dream from one player – I’ll steal Auntie’s dream.
– I choose.
– No, you can’t choose.
– I get to choose.
– I choose for you!
(Chaos)
I’m taking this away, Auntie.
I’ll buy my final dream – ‘Drinking outside’ – $300,000.
– Here you go.
– You must make sure that you win her.
I can’t – I’ve finished my actions.
– Oh yeah, I have to lick my foot.
– Yes, you must.
Hello! I’ve licked Jon Paul’s foot before.
That’s not as bad as mine.
– Let’s be honest.
– Yours is worse?
Oh no, what am I saying? Not as bad as his!
– Traumatized!
– You have to do it too.
– If not, this is mine.
– No!
Draw two cards!
Ok, chope! Last player to put their hand on the card…
– What do I do?
– Discard one card from your hand.
Ok, take the last dream for free.
Oh… Paiseh piece!
– Do you want me to lick my left or right foot?
– You decide lah!
From the top to the bottom… Ugh!
That was nasty!
Talk so much somemore!
Actually I’ve ended the game, so I didn’t need to…
– Yeah, I already said not to end it!
– Then she would have won.
– I win ah?!
– Oh! Oh! Ah hah!
‘Lee family’! Steal two dreams!
– Finished already.
– It’s supposed to be used after the game is finished.
‘Steal two dreams from the winner…
… if the value of your cash and dreams is more than $5 million’.
Can only be played after the game has ended.
– $1.5 million?
– Yes.
Yes, I have $4.5 million here.
Give me two dreams! No, I’ll take the two dreams.
– Choose the… choose the…
– From where?
Come, come, come.
– Did you win?
– 2, 4, 6…
– Confirm he win!
– Oh my God, I won!
I win!!!
For the entire game, I had no money.
This is the Singaporean dream.
To rise from nothing – from a humble NSF to be the richest NSF.
All your dreams leh!
Open table at Zouk!
Don’t lose girlfriend during NS!
I didn’t lose my girlfriend in NS!
How can you lose what you never had?
Very bad! But it’s ok; I beat her!
Was it fun?
– Yeah, it was actually really fun!
– Fun!
Oh, I mean… (Deeper voice) It’s actually really fun.
I’m waiting for expansion packs.
– Yeah man.
– I hope there are more characters – new characters.
You know who I want to see?
SGAG, you listen ah…
I want a maid.
A maid character.
There’s so much potential to create a character with that.
Thank you for watching this episode of TSL Plays.
If you want to see Part 2, you let us know down in the comments.
We’ll play The Singaporean Dream again.
Also let us know who you want to see play the game, ok?
If you liked this video, don’t forget to like, share and subscribe!
And watch our other videos there.
Bye sir.
Exposed!
Let us know if you want to see more of Auntie Chow.

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