The Bieber Wedding Wreaks Havoc at the Montage Hotel – Lights Out with David Spade


Justin Bieber
and his wife Hailey
had their official wedding today
on a Monday.
Uh, all of their friends can go,
of course,
’cause they don’t have
to report to Arby’s today.
Uh, they’re all rich.
The wedding happened
at the ritzy Montage Hotel
in South Carolina.
The guests were complaining
that the wedding caused
disruptions to their plans
and ruined “the vibe.”
Kevin, you ruin people’s vibes.
What do you think about this?
First of all,
I see nothing wrong with this.
-Okay.
-Um, I think the guests
should still be allowed
to at least pee in the spa.
-(laughter) -You know?
Or at least use the spa
on another day, you know,
like, maybe a week,
they should get,
like, a reparation
where they could come back
and use it another time.
They can’t stay in the hotel,
-but they could use the spa
and the bidet. -All right.
But, you guys,
who gets married on a Monday?
Well, it’s a lot cheaper
to get married on a Monday.
-They’re probably trying to…
-Cut costs.
I’m gonna get married on a
weekend ’cause we can afford it,
but they are
probably gonna do a Monday,
-’cause it’s a cost-saver.
-The cheapest day is hump day.
Wednesday.
That’s a good wedding day…
Maybe, uh,
maybe it won’t even be legal.
Maybe he’s smart, he’s going,
“I’ll do it on Monday,
“and, really,
it’s not legal in the…
-Oh.
-She doesn’t know that, though.”
So you’re making the case he
doesn’t want to be marrying her?
-I didn’t say that specifically.
-That’s very controversial.
Taylor’s gonna hear this,
though.
E-news. ♪ Dee-deet, beep-beep,
boo-doo-doop, bop-beep. ♪
I mean, they were trying to,
like, accommodate a celebrity.
-I feel like that’s the thing.
-Oh, yeah, when a celebrity
comes to your wedding,
the wedding is basically
just on the celebrity’s terms.
Like, I’m doing my wedding
-around celebrity attendance.
-Right, right. -Yeah.
She’s asked Jenn Aniston
five times.
Like, “Where are you
on this date and this date?”
Listen, if Jenn can’t come,
we move the date.
If my dad can’t come,
he won’t be there.
(laughter)
-You know?
-That’s true.
-It’s so true, by the way.
-What if it’s…
that he needs a green card?
-That Justin needs a green card?
-Yes, Sara. Wake up!
What’s his national…
I don’t get it.
-He’s Canadian.
-Oh.
I got married at the, uh…
The rest of the class
on page 54, Sara. Come on.
Oh, I’m so sorry
I’m not up to date.
-Go ahead, Kevin.
-I get this whole thing,
’cause I got married
at the Marriott, and, uh…
-(laughter)
-it wasn’t that bad of a…
We weren’t allowed
to use the spa.
-(laughter)
-That was on me.
But no one else at the Marriott
was complaining
-that they couldn’t enjoy
themselves, right? -No.
Once I heard
it was South Carolina,
that sounds like two flights
to me, I’d be out.
I’d be like, “For that reason
alone, I am out.”
I think that destination
weddings are rude, first of all.
-Yes.
-They’re just rude.
Like, you want me to pay
to come to your wedding?
-You’re a dick. -NEALON: Why
can’t you have it at my house?
I just find it very rude.
Like, she’s… I’m probably
not gonna go to her wedding.
-I’m going destination. Yeah.
-Where’s yours?
Listen, you don’t go
to a destination wedding
if you’re not that close,
and we’re not that close.
-You don’t have to come.
-No, I’m… Yeah.
-Sara’s on the bubble, for sure.
-For sure.
I have other sisters that
are for sure in the wedding,
-but Sara’s, like, on the bubble
for even attending. -Right.
She’s not the celebrity
I would work around.
(laughter)
What about
the Bieb’s wife Hailey is…
they met at–
she just put this picture up.
She was a fan, 2009,
-Oh.
-and they hung out.
That’s, like,
sending a bad message to girls
-that this could ever happen
for them, honestly. -Yeah.
I did the same thing with,
like, Boyz II Men,
-and, like, it didn’t work out
for us. -Think about all
the pictures we had with,
like, New Kids on the Block.
-Yeah, Color Me Badd.
-Color Me Badd.
Never hooked up
with any of them.
-Do you guys know Color…?
-Color Me Badd, I did!
They’re so young! Oh, my God!
-Hello? Boyz II Men?
-Finally, this is both…
I’ve had this same head shot
in two different parts
of my career.
I’ve had those bangs,
and I’ve had long hair.
NEALON: But this is obviously
when he was in the service,
-in the Army, his dog tag.
-(laughter)
(applause)
By the way, parts of the hotel
are being closed off,
like we talked about,
because, uh,
you can’t go in the pool
or the spa,
and here’s one of the signs.
The bride’s dad was upset
about this sign.
(laughter)
“Please shower before you enter
the pool, Stephen Baldwin.”
Why would they single him out?

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