Poker Face 2: All In


♪♪
>>WELCOME BACK TO THIS
YEAR’S COVERAGE OF THE
WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS OF
TEXAS HOLD ‘EM POKER,
AND SOME VERY FAMILIAR
FACES IN OUR FINAL FOUR TONIGHT.
JASON GRAY, OF COURSE,
ONE OF LAST YEAR’S FINALISTS.
HE’S RUMORED TO HAVE RECENTLY
HAD AN ORGAN TRANSPLANT
THAT DID NOT GO WELL.
>>STUPID MONKEY KIDNEYS.
>>AND LAST YEAR’S
MILLION-DOLLAR WINNER,
MALLORY EVERTON,
CLEARLY DOING WELL FOR HERSELF.
>>[GROANS]
I AM IN SO MUCH DEBT.
>>AMAZINGLY, MATT MEESE HAS
RETURNED EVEN THOUGH LAST YEAR
IT WAS PAINFULLY CLEAR THAT HE
DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO PLAY POKER.
>>[MANIACAL LAUGHTER]
OH FOOLS,
THEY HAVE NO IDEA THAT
I’VE SPENT THE LAST YEAR
LEARNING EVERYTHING THERE
IS TO KNOW ABOUT POKER.
THEY’LL NEVER SEE IT COMING.
[GIGGLES]
MM, SANDWICHES.
>>AND OUR ONE NEW FACE,
ADAM BERG,
FORMER PROTÉGÉ OF THE
LATE JEREMY WARNER,
WHO PASSED AWAY AT
THIS VERY TABLE.
>>THIS IS FOR YOU, JEREMY.
>>AND HERE COMES THE FLOP
WITH THE KING OF CLUBS,
THE SEVEN OF SPADES,
AND THE QUEEN OF HEARTS.
>>[COUGHS]
YES!
I FINALLY HAVE A GOOD HAND.
STOP COUGHING, YOU FOOL!
THEY’LL KNOW YOU’RE EXCITED!
THERE WE GO.
COUGHING INTO MY BRAIN?
200 THOUSAND.
>>I JUST HAD TO USE MY WINNINGS
TO BUY A YACHT MADE OF GOLD,
WHICH SUNK IMMEDIATELY.
CALL.
NOW ALL THE FISH ARE
LIVING LARGE ON MY BOAT,
AND ALL MY FRIENDS ARE DEAD
IN THEIR SOLID GOLD LIFE VESTS.
>>LET’S SEE: KING OF CLUBS,
QUEEN OF HEARTS,
SEVEN OF SPADES…
I HAVE AN ACE AND A KING WHICH
PUTS MY ODDS OF WINNING AT:
[COMPUTING NOISE]
62.48 PERCENT.
EXCELLENT.
BUT PLAY IT COOL!
THEY DON’T KNOW THAT YOU
KNOW HOW TO PLAY NOW.
CALL?
MHM, AND THE OSCAR GOES TO ME.
>>OKAY, YOU CAN DO THIS.
>>[JEREMY’S VOICE]
REMAIN CALM, ADAM.
>>[SCREAMS]
JEREMY?
>>YES.
I AM SPEAKING TO YOU
FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE.
I’M HERE TO HELP.
MY ONE MISTAKE IS
THAT I PANICKED.
I DON’T WANT YOU TO-
>>CALL.
>>WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
YOU HAVEN’T EVEN LOOKED
AT YOUR CARDS!
>>I DIDN’T LOOK AT MY CARDS!
>>ALL PLAYERS,
800 THOUSAND IN THE POT.
THIS COULD GET INTERESTING.
AND THERE’S THE TURN WITH
THE KING OF DIAMONDS.
>>[LAUGHS]
OH MAN,
I’M TOTALLY GOING TO WIN.
[PLOP]
OH!
OH MY GOODNESS!
I THINK MY KIDNEY JUST EXPLODED.
OH, I’M DYING.
MUST…FINISH…GAME…
AND…GET… TO… HOSPITAL.
500 THOUSAND.
>>[SCREAMS]
I NEED TO WIN SO I CAN
BUY A SILVER BOAT TO
RESCUE THE GOLD BOAT.
CALL.
>>THAT KING PUTS MY
ODDS AT 89.07 PERCENT.
OH, DON’T BE HAPPY!
CALL.
>>WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
HOW DO YOU NOT LOOK
AT YOUR CARDS?
>>I’M SORRY!
IT’S HARD TO CONCENTRATE
WHEN YOUR DECEASED MENTOR
STARTS TALKING IN YOUR HEAD!
>>SURE, BLAME THE DEAD GUY-
JUST LOOK AT YOUR CARDS!
[SCREAMS]
>>OH, GROSS.
>>FORGET ABOUT ME!
PLAY THE GAME!
>>CALL.
>>YOU DIDN’T LOOK AT YOUR CARDS!
>>OKAY, I GUESS WE’RE JUST GOING
TO PRETEND THAT DIDN’T HAPPEN.
AND THERE’S THE RIVER.
IT’S THE ACE OF SPADES.
THAT’S GREAT NEWS FOR ANYONE
HOLDING AN ACE RIGHT NOW.
>>NO!
>>NO!
>>YES!
>>[SHRIEKS] JEREMY!
>>OH, WHAT DO I DO?
THAT ACE COULD RUIN ALL.
WHAT ARE THE CHANCES THAT
SOMEONE HAS A KING AND AN ACE?
>>0.01 PERCENT.
>>I’VE GOT TO GO FOR IT.
MY ONE REMAINING
KIDNEY ISN’T GOING TO-
[POP]
SAINT SWITHINS!
I HAVE NO KIDNEYS!
I HAVE MOMENTS TO LIVE!
ALL IN.
>>[SCREAMS]
>>ALL IN.
>>[YELLS]
>>ALL IN.
>>[SCREAMS]
>>ALL IN.
>>[JEREMY SCREAMS]
>>WHY DON’T I LOOK AT MY CARDS?
>>I DON’T KNOW!
>>MILLIONS IN THE POT,
BUT THERE CAN ONLY
BE ONE WINNER.
JASON WILL SHOW FIRST.
A STRONG HAND THERE:
THREE KINGS.
>>FASTER!
>>AND MALLORY ONLY
HAS TWO PAIRS,
QUEENS AND SEVENS.
LOOKS LIKE SHE WON’T BE
A REPEAT WINNER TONIGHT.
>>THAT’S IT.
IT’S OVER.
I WONDER HOW MUCH I CAN
GET FOR ONE OF MY KIDNEYS…
LIKE THE WIND.
>>I’M ALMOST SCARED
TO SEE WHAT MATT HAS-
OH MY.
MATT HAS A FULL HOUSE.
KINGS FULL OF ACES.
>>[LAUGHS SHRILLY]
THE PADAWAN HAS
BECOME THE JEDI!
>>AND NO ONE KNOWS
WHAT ADAM HAS,
INCLUDING ADAM.
>>LET’S JUST LEAVE.
I CAN’T TAKE ANY
MORE HUMILIATION.
>>I HAVE TO KNOW.
>>ADAM HAS A PAIR OF ACES!
HE’S WON IT ALL!
>>[SCREAMS]
>>WHAT AN UNBELIEVABLE
ENDING TO THIS TOURNAMENT!
AND NOW WE CLOSE.
JASON GRAY IS QUICKLY LEAVING,
MOST LIKELY TO A HOSPITAL,
AND MALLORY EVERTON
FOLLOWS HIM CLOSE BEHIND.
>>HERE COMES THE WIND!
>>AND MATT CONSOLES
HIMSELF WITH A SANDWICH.
>>[CHORTLES]
NOW YOU CAN AFFORD TO BUY ME
AN URN WITH A TELEVISION IN IT.
I’M EVERYWHERE!
>>WE THANK YOU FOR JOINING US,
AND GOOD NIGHT.
>>HEY, THANKS FOR WATCHING!
HOPE YOU’RE A WINNER AT LIFE!
AND DON’T FORGET TO
LOOK AT YOUR CARDS.
>>SEE YOU NEXT WEEK!
♪♪
>>THANKS FOR WATCHING,
AND DON’T FORGET TO
SUBSCRIBE AND COMMENT
BELOW AND SHARE THIS
VIDEO WITH THE FRIEND WHO’S
MOST LIKELY TO HAUNT YOU.
CALL.
THANKS, ADAM.
YOU’RE A TRUE FRIEND.
HEY, DON’T FORGET TO

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