People Play Text Roulette


– I won’t intentionally fuck you over if you don’t fuck me over. – K. Deal (Bright Jazz Music) – We’re gonna pull little messages out of this little container, and
we’re gonna spin the wheel. We’re gonna see who we’re gonna text. – I’m gonna say I’m most
nervous about my grandparents. – Well I have the
numbers to all of my exes and I’m not homies with them at all. – (singing) We’re about
to put you on blast! – I actually am a little nervous – Just the idea of like
giving you my phone makes me nervous. – There’s anxiety there. – Yeah. – Alright, let’s do it.
(Ding) – Really get in there deep. – Where did this game come from? This seems like not a good idea. – This says, “I honestly can’t stand sex.” Even better. Alright. I honestly can’t
stand sex, to your moms. – She’s gonna be like, “I didn’t even think
you were dating anyone.” – (both laugh) – You still selling drugs? Good. – Oh, yes! Ha! – Are you shitting me? – Oh, you don’t even have
a text history with… – No! I know! I know. – Oo! Out of the blue. So, I sent “You still
sellin’ drugs?” To… – To my ex.
– To his ex. – Do we have to play this game? I hope that there’s no response. – Can I get a picture of your feet? – This is good. – Number neighbor! – I’m gonna spice it up a little bit. You know how I like it. Can I get a picture of your feet? – You know how I like it? [Ding] – When was the last time you were cuddled? – Oh; that’s kind of adorable. Why are you getting adorable ones? – ‘Cuz I’m cute. – That would be a good solid… Oh, wow, good. So I’m gonna text your ex. “When was the last time you were cuddled?” – I’m sweating right now. – Still wanna see those pics? – Oo. – Smiley wink face. Oh no; oh, thank god! (laugh)
(ding) Still wanna see those pics, winky face. I’m gonna do, “Still
wanna see those pics…” Opening it up to maybe something serious. I don’t know. – Uh oh. My ex texted me back. She said, “Was that for me?” – Oh, at least, okay. – Yeah, well, of course it was. What should I say? – You should say, “Donald
Trump is my celebrity crush.” [Ding] – How many times do I have to tell you? I’m not having sex with you! – My mom again! (laugh) She’s gonna be like
very concerned about my online dating life after this (laugh). – I am now texting Elana’s mom, “How many times do I have to tell you I’m not having sex with you!” And I’m hitting send. – I hope you like bananas,
because I’m bringing the heat! – God, I hope you get ex. – She ain’t gonna get a chance. – Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. – Yes! – No! – I hope you like bananas,
because I’m bringing the heat! – How much are plungers? This is urgent. (laugh) – OK, ladies. That would be a good tweet. Ask and you shall receive. – Just tweeted, “How much
are plungers this is urgent” in all caps. I’ve never thought you were
all that great, honestly. – Cuts to the core. – I mean, even if I sent that to my boss, I think it would feel bad. – Oh my god! Oh no! – No! – Sorry grams – Grandma, I love you;
just letting you know that. – This would be a fun
– Drinking game. – Yeah.
– This a fun party game. – This is a sleepover game. – It’s like an emergency contact list, but like much more
personal and terrifying. – We might have ruined
your family relationships and maybe, you know,
stirred up some old flame, but I had fun. – (grandmother on phone) My
grandson is in deep shit. I told them, I said, “I’m
going to call him back and tell him, ‘You are
in hot, hot mud, dude.'” (Swish. Sign creaking)

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