Hello! Today, I announce I’m officially a homeowner. CHAMPAGNE! I also announce that I’ll be in debt for the next twenty years. Oh. Well, water then. Actually two years ago, I bought an apartment on plan, which means it wasn’t built yet and I actually bought the drawing of it. So, Mrs Jones, I gave a lot of thought to your future house. Look. Like this, with a triangle roof, a double-paned window, And a pretty sun. Like this. I buy it! Thank you! Banco! The problem is that the construction was three months late. And my boyfriend and I were kind of on the street, since we had left our former home. So, to compensate, the promoter payed us a hotel room for three months. Living in a hotel is kind of a weird situation, with positive points and negative points. What do you want me to start with? Ok. Positive points with pictures ♫ Nooo, I said “negative points”, I don’t get iiiiit… Everyday, we have free magazines and newspapers provided. And if it’s free… Ah, I’ll take them all, it’s cheap! Thanks! From me to you, I must say there’s something classy in seeing my boyfriend leaving the hotel with his little newspaper under his arm… Looks like he’s interested in economy, in politics… But no. He’s only interested in football. We have a cleaning lady coming by once a week, and that is awesome. For example, if you want your sheets or towels to be changed, You just put them on the bathroom floor, she gets them back and she cleans them. It gave me some ideas. Wow, honey, I did a great work out! You’re sure I must stay here? Yes, don’t worry, the cleaning lady will come get you in an hour, bye. GIRL POWER! There’s a little gym, you just take the lift and you’re there. “Sandrine and Gerard, Sandrine and Gerard” Hiiiiii Gerard! (cheers) Hi Sandrine, how are you? What are you doing? Burning the calories! I’m working on the glutes! Those are rock hard! But- what is that?! That? That’s my bottle! (laugh) We have plenty of free soaps and body creams, and sexy shower caps too! Baby, time to shower together… Ah, there you are! Can you rub my back with my blood circulation brush? We have a safe to put our precious things in… Hop! You’re coming out today! We have a magnifying mirror! And I love that! Especially when it’s so well placed! (Sexy ambiant music) We have a “Do not disturb” door hanger. I like to put it on, because it feels like I have a very busy life, don’t bother me, okay? And in general, I am quite busy indeed.
This tag, when hung to the knob, also means in some people’s heads: “Currently Fornicating” So I saw my boyfriend hang it several times a day to make it look like he’s a sex machine.
Ah, you’re still here? Bacause I’m only fucking all day, you see! See you! I love fucking!
I let him do it. He needs to show off his manliness. It’s good for his simple male growth.
Hi. Negative points now… The beds are fucking annoying!
But those easy-sliding beds are very useful to realize your couple situation. No need to text astrologists anymore. Between you, it’s great love. Venus looks after your couple. I stole your nose! – Oh nooo! The lining of the planets caused a distance in your relationship… The lunar waves inform me that your better half is sick of your fucking face. What’re you reading? Since we’re at the hotel, every time I tidy the place, my boyfriend turns into DSK and wants to replay the Sofitel scene! Wait… I never tidy the place. Hello hello, it’s room service, I’m hear to tidy the room. In this hotel, there are cameras everywhere. Sometimes it feels like I’m in The Jersey Shore. Yeah, I want her to leave the house, because she had no conversation, her breath stinks, and also she never showers. And I don’t want to be a snitch, but she poops on the floor! We have to go to the laundromat to do our laundry, because here this service is EXTREMELY expensive. Cleaning panties costs €4! Is it half-price for thongs? I mean, with that price, they better be cleaning your clothes with champagne and when you get them back, there are still a few drops to drink some. In these moments, I enjoy the fact that my boyfriend can wear the same boxers for a few days. Apart from these tiny negative points, hotel life is still pretty cool. And it’s always cool to tell your friends: Yeah, I’ll be at the hotel tonight, ciao, see ya. There! This four-star video is now over, thanks to all those who watched it, and thanks to all those who are subscribed to my Youtube channel, it’s so, so nice. To celebrate that: Yes, room 1202 here. Can you bring up a champagne bucket with two glasses and a dog bowl? You put in on my boyfriend’s note of course? Thank you. I’m fucking! If you hear me, I’m fucking! I’m fucking!