LES PUBS vs LA VIE 3


In commercials Why is urinary inconticence such a taboo? Pretty common, isn’t it? Yeah, don’t feel embarassed about it! Alright! Let’s talk about it! In real life Alright… urinary incontinence! Let’s talk about it! Umh well no, no thanks. Come on, urinary incontinence! You have it, I have it, it’s not a taboo ! Okay Melanie, we haven’t seen each other for a month, I’d like to talk about something else for once, get it? You know what? It’s happening right now, I’m gonna show you! Oh well no, I don’t want to see it, okay? *embarrassed laugh* But it can’t stop leaking, I love it! GREAT! In commercials My first Kühne was… wow! A big, strong guy!
(pun with « one-night stand» “plan cul” in French, Kühne is a pickle brand) In real life My last one-night stand was… wow! Did this with a big, strong guy! Your last Kühne, you mean. Yeees, my Kühne. *embarrassed laugh* Anyway, we did it all night long. Better 2 times than only 1! (pun with Kühne once again, homophonic with “qu’une”, meaning “than one” in French). Wait, I’ll call you back. Ok, you want to talk about pickles? There. Pickles, you see? Well big pickles like that, I love it. In commercials ♪ At Tati, you have everything. At Tati, you have everything. ♪ In real life ♪ At Tati, you have everything. ♪ SHUT THE FUCK UP! No we don’t say this anymore! We don’t say it anymore! “At Tati, shut up.” Understood ? ♪ At Tati, shut up. ♪ ♪ At Tati, shut up. ♪ Oh that’s good here. In commercials ♪ With friends, with family: word puzzle. ♪ ♪ Who will be the fastest? ♪ ♪ Word puzzle ♪ In real life ♪ Word puzzle. ♪ Where are you going? I’m gonna play Fortnite. I’m going on Tik-Tok. Well… It’s only you and I, now. I thought of other games. Yes, word puzzle! Come on, take a look! Di-vorce No, it doesn’t fit. Yes, it fits very well. In commercials Sarah dreamt of working in the web. She spared no effort to get there. And it looks like tonight, her new life has just begun.
[on screen: Offer for a job interview – Senior developer] In real life Sarah dreamt of working in the web. She spared no effort to get there. But it looks like tonight, her new life … will never come.
[on screen: Offer for an internship – Unpaid] She’s just been admitted in an unpaid internship with ungrateful tasks, without any bit of acknowledgement from her boss. Working in the web? Seriously. Sarah should have studied accounting. It’s a more high-demand sector. In commercials Oh did you see this? New neighbors are moving in! Wait, wait. We’re gonna laugh! I’m gonna tell them what credit rate we got for the house. Hello! In the real life. Hey, I’m your neighbor. I, got the credit rate for my house at 1.8%! Why do you think we’re caring though? Disappointed aren’t you? I don’t want to move here anymore. In commercials You have the power to make the world more harmonious, with Engie (=electricity and gaz company) In real life THE CITY IS IN DARKNESS! I should call the police, shouldn’t I ? I hate electricity! In commercials. Here’s zero pocket money to do a lot of zero expenses. Zero! Cool! Yes, you’ll buy zero sneakers! In real life. Here’s your zero pocket money to do a lot of zero expenses. Stop with that! Well! I think your zero mom is coming back! Dad. Mum left you a year ago already. I know! This is definitely because I have a zero job. In commercials Easily sell your car with vendezvotrevoiture.fr (sellyourcar.fr) vendezvotrevoiture.fr vendezvotrevoiture.fr In real life. vendezvotrevoiture.fr Cut! Here’s your payroll. Thank you. Oh I think there’s a mistake with my wage, though. What did you think? That you were Jennifer Lawrence? Look at the ad’s budget, we can’t even film in front of a real car dealer! We have a shitty green screen, consider yourself happy, alright?! Ok, so it’s more like sellyourass.fr What did you just say? Nothing… That’s better. Okay we’re packing back up guys! Come on come on! In commercials May I ask you a few questions? – Yes. You too? Who is the most curious person in the world? Well … -So who is it? -Me! In real life Who is the most curious person in the world? Come on, you need to answer. Just make a sentence, with words. You don’t want to talk? What do you think of the yellow jackets movement? WHAT THE HELL ARE THESE INTERVIEWS? I’ve studied journalism! And seriously, what’s this mic?! And now he’s laughing! No more children, stop… I’m giving up! In commercials! At first, my parents were stressed about buying new property. I had to do something. I told them Hey, parents, “VINCI Immobilier for You” It doesn’t ring any bell? You don’t know that? In real life Hey, parents, “VINCI Immobilier for You” It doesn’t ring any bell? You don’t know that? What are you talking about? You’re just 10 years old! What do you know about real estate, SERIOUSLY? What is that kiddo saying again? Well, our kid is gonna teach us how to buy an apartment, you know! She’s driving me nuuuts! I’m gonna put her in an orphan house, okay?! Go do your homework! What on earth are those kids? She’s so pretentious! In commercials Dad, mom, I have something to tell you. Alexa, restart my music. ♪ I like girls, from Chez Castel ♪
[J’aime les filles – Jacques Dutronc] In real life. Dad, mom, I have something to tell you. Alexa, restart my music. Fine, I’m turning lights into green. No… Alexa, restart my music! It is currently 11°C (51,8°F) in Oulan-Bator. What do you want to tell us exactly? Alexa, restart my music! Here is the raclette song. ♪ Raclette party, to celebrate … ♪ No, it’s Enzo’s music… Okay. I love girls. Oh, we already know that, honey. But this here, that’s not possible ! Alexa, stop! Alexa, stop!
Stop, Alexa! Stop!
Stop! Do something! Unplug it!! ♪ Subscribe! ♪ ♪ You! ♪ ♪ YOU! ♪

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