Last Night on Earth: Felicia Day, Riki Lindhome, and Kate Micucci Join Wil on TableTop, episode 15


WIL WHEATON: Everyone loves
a midnight horror movie–
especially on Halloween.
The only thing better than
watching a movie
is being the star–
something I have a little
experience in.
Today on “Table Top,” my friend
Felicia Day and Kate
and Riki from Garfunkel and
Oates, are here to join me to
see if we can survive the
“Last Night on Earth.”
“The Last Night on Earth” is a
cooperative team-based game
set in the fictional B-movie
town of Woodinvale, USA,
during the zombie apocalypse.
Tonight we are playing a
scenario called “Escape in the
Truck.” For the heroes to win,
they have to gas up the truck,
find the keys, and drive
out of town.
For the zombies to win, they
have to block their escape
before the sun comes up.
Every round, the zombies
go first.
They draw cards from the zombie
project that will help
them harvest those
delicious brains.
They move, attack, and find
out if they get even more
zombies onto the board.
On the hero turn, they’re just
trying to stay alive.
They’ll draw cards from the
hero deck that give them
useful items and other
things to help
them survive the zombies.
Then, they can run away from
danger toward a friend who
needs help, or search an area
for a hopefully useful item.
The heroes will also want to
invest a fair amount of time
healing themselves.
Because if they get wounded
too many times, they die.
Will the zombies go home hungry,
or will this be the
heroes’ last night on Earth?

FELICIA DAY: I am Felicia Day,
and I do a variety of things
with acting, writing, and
producing and they are mostly
on the internet.
RIKI LINDHOME: My name is Riki
Lindhome, and you probably
know me from acting stuff and
from Garfunkel and Oates, my
internet-based comedy band.
KATE MICUCCI: My name is Kate
Micucci, and I do acting and
music, and I’m in a duo called
Garfunkel and Oates.
WIL WHEATON: The thing is with
“Last Night on Earth,” the
zombie players always
go first.
Felicia and I are the
zombie players.
FELICIA DAY: Rawr.
WIL WHEATON: So when it’s
time to go first, the
zombies will go first.
But we can still get a chance
to learn a little bit about
Kate and Riki.
I think this will be
delightful and fun.
They get to choose two different
characters that they
will each play.
And we did before the game,
so here we are.
Ricki?
RIKI LINDHOME: Yeah.
WIL WHEATON: You are playing
Johnny, the high school
quarterback.
You are also playing–
KATE MICUCCI: Because he’s hot.
He’s hot.
RIKI LINDHOME: He’s hot.
WIL WHEATON: You’re also playing
Jake Cartwright, the
mysterious drifter.
RIKI LINDHOME: We put a lot of
thought into the back stories
of our characters.
We worked on it all afternoon.
KATE MICUCCI: I have actually
in my car–
I typed out pages and pages.
I left them in the car
because I didn’t
want to seem too eager.
RIKI LINDHOME: Yeah.
Johnny likes food and sex,
that’s his back story.
WIL WHEATON: OK.
RIKI LINDHOME: And Jake
Cartwright likes sleeping
outdoors and the “Oprah
Winfrey Show.”
WIL WHEATON: OK, awesome.
KATE MICUCCI: I feel like he has
to find a DMV or a place
where Oprah would be playing,
because he doesn’t have a TV.
RIKI LINDHOME: He sleeps
near there, yeah.
Jake cuts the lawn at women’s
shelters so he can sleep and
watch Oprah.
WIL WHEATON: And Kate, you’re
playing Sally, the high school
sweetheart.
And you’re also playing
Father Joseph, he’s
a man of the cloth.
KATE MICUCCI: Because
I really like him.
OK
FELICIA DAY: Why did
you pick him?
KATE MICUCCI: Because
I just have a thing
for nuns and priests.
Well, I mean, not a “thing.”
Not a weird–
that sounded wrong.
Is it cool if you take out
the priest part for me?
What priest part?
KATE MICUCCI: When I said I felt
like I liked him because
he was a priest.
RIKI LINDHOME: That’s
not anything.
KATE MICUCCI: That’s not bad?
RIKI LINDHOME: It’s nothing.
KATE MICUCCI: OK, good.
RIKI LINDHOME: They’re not going
to put it in anyway,
because it’s not funny.
KATE MICUCCI: Yeah,
that’s true.
RIKI LINDHOME: It isn’t.
KATE MICUCCI: Sally,
she’s cool,
she’s hip, she’s happening.
But she has an eating disorder,
so she’s really not
as strong as–
WIL WHEATON: And that explains
why Sally only has one wound
before she dies?
KATE MICUCCI: Yeah.
I should have thought earlier
she did have strong thighs.
WIL WHEATON: Yeah.
Well, if you’re a high school
sweetheart, you’d totally have
strong thighs.
Normally at the beginning of a
game we would roll to find out
how many zombies we have, then
we would choose where to put
them on the board.
We did that before we started
rolling, because you don’t
want to watch that.
That’s boring.
You want to see us
play the game.
So zombie turn.
FELICIA DAY: OK.
WIL WHEATON: All right,
zombie turn.
The first thing we do is
move the sun track one
tick towards sunrise.
This is turned 15, everybody.
OK, so let’s see.
I am the green zombies,
so I got four green
zombies on the board.
Zombies move one every turn, so
this zombie goes rawr and
comes after the priest.
And this zombie’s all rawr
and he’s going that way.
RIKI LINDHOME: I think we’re
better heroes than zombies.
Because I think zombies
have more rules that
they have to follow.
KATE MICUCCI: Yeah, and I think
also Felicia and Wil are
really into the zombie sounds
more than we would have been.
RIKI LINDHOME: Yes.
WIL WHEATON: We should also have
rolled before our turn to
find out if we’re going
to spawn new zombies.

Which I’m pretty sure we’re
not going to do.
FELICIA DAY: Oh, no.
WIL WHEATON: No, we’re
not spawning.
FELICIA DAY: No, that is less
than the number of zombies I
have on the board.
WIL WHEATON: OK, guys, that is
the end of the zombie turn in
this round.
So heroes, go ahead and go.
You can coordinate between
yourselves how
you’re going to move.
RIKI LINDHOME: OK, ready?
KATE MICUCCI: One, two, three.
It’s like starting a song.
RIKI LINDHOME: Oh,
three and three.
KATE MICUCCI: Holy [BLEEP]!
RIKI LINDHOME: Oh my God!
WIL WHEATON: What?
RIKI LINDHOME: We’re
always in sync.
It’s so weird.
WIL WHEATON: That’s a total
goucher that you guys rolled
four threes.
RIKI LINDHOME: Oh my God.
KATE MICUCCI: What
does that mean?
Do we win, is that it?
RIKI LINDHOME: Our strategy is
to make it up as we go along.
KATE MICUCCI: And have
fun with it, really.
RIKI LINDHOME: Yeah.

Well, Johnny’s going
to search.
WIL WHEATON: All right, go
ahead and draw a card
from the hero deck.
KATE MICUCCI: He likes
food and sex.
RIKI LINDHOME: Oh, Johnny’s
on the card.
He gets a baseball bat.
KATE MICUCCI: Oh, that’s
a good one.
WIL WHEATON: Sweet, go ahead
and give it to him.
Look, it’s even model-specific.
There’s like a little–
RIKI LINDHOME: And he’s
got a baseball bat.
WIL WHEATON: He’s actually
holding a baseball bat.
RIKI LINDHOME: So it’s
meant to be.
WIL WHEATON: Yeah,
that’s good.
RIKI LINDHOME: And Jake’s
going to move,
because he’s not in–
KATE MICUCCI: He’s looking
for Oprah.
WIL WHEATON: So Jake
can go three.
Where’s Jake going?
RIKI LINDHOME: Maybe to
the gas place there?
KATE MICUCCI: So, Kate, you go
ahead and move your guys.
KATE MICUCCI: Is it best
if I stay inside?
WIL WHEATON: You guys probably
want to search.
RIKI LINDHOME: You
should search.
KATE MICUCCI: So searching
meaning?
RIKI LINDHOME: Job card.
KATE MICUCCI: OK.

I don’t show you guys, right?
WIL WHEATON: That’s right.
RIKI LINDHOME: Is it an item?
WIL WHEATON: But you
can show Riki.
RIKI LINDHOME: Oh, OK.
It’s an event.

KATE MICUCCI: So I just hang on
to that, and then do this
again for Sally?
WIL WHEATON: For Sally.
KATE MICUCCI: Sally.
Oh!
Yes.
OK, so I put that here.
FELICIA DAY: What
did Sally get?
KATE MICUCCI: It’s
a pitchfork.
WIL WHEATON: Sally
has a pitchfork.
Let’s hope she doesn’t feel the
need to purge before this
outbreak is over, because
that would be–
RIKI LINDHOME: Really painful
WIL WHEATON: A mess.
KATE MICUCCI: So good to
have, but I don’t move
on either of these?
WIL WHEATON: No,
you don’t move.
So new turn.
RIKI LINDHOME: I think
that was a really
successful turn though.
WIL WHEATON: Let’s move
the sun tracker
up to 14 turns left.
I’m proud of us, I think we
did a really good job.
FELICIA DAY: So now I’m
going to roll to
see if zombies spawn.
WIL WHEATON: Five!
You are totally going to
spawn new zombies.
FELICIA DAY: I’m going to
spawn how many zombies?
WIL WHEATON: You’re going to
spawn two new zombies because
you rolled that much more.
KATE MICUCCI: They’re so cute!
WIL WHEATON: Now I’m
going to see if I
spawn any new zombies.
I’ve got four on
the board, so–
nope, I will not spawn
any new zombies.
Now we both get to
move zombies.
FELICIA DAY: Yes, our zombies.
Mine’s going to go through the
wall into the gas station,
because I smelled–
WIL WHEATON: Brains!
Delicious brains!
FELICIA DAY: Drifter!
WIL WHEATON: And now this guy’s
all rawr, students in
the gym, rawr.
OK, so now you roll to see if
you place your newly spawned
zombies because we still
can’t fight.
FELICIA DAY: OK.
So I rolled a three.

WIL WHEATON: So you get–
FELICIA DAY: Both, I get
both my zombies.
WIL WHEATON: They both
come on the board.
Look out, everybody,
zombie’s coming.
FELICIA DAY: It’s handsome
Dr. Hannah.
WIL WHEATON: Zombie
Omar coming.
KATE MICUCCI: Dr. Hannah?
FELICIA DAY: I don’t
know, Dr. Hannah–
he was called McDreamy
around town.
When I saw Dr. Hannah spawn in
the morgue, I felt the need to
embody him with character
and spirit.
KATE MICUCCI: RIKI LINDHOME:
One, two, three.
RIKI LINDHOME: Six and three.
What do you have?
KATE MICUCCI: Two and five.

WIL WHEATON: So he’s going
to move there, OK.
And where’s Sally going?
KATE MICUCCI: I’m thinking
she should move
within again, right?
RIKI LINDHOME: I think
she should draw.
KATE MICUCCI: Yeah, OK.
All right.
WIL WHEATON: Yeah, good call.
She should search, she’s not in
any real danger right now.
Her boyfriend Johnny,
who slept with
everyone except her.
FELICIA DAY: Yeah, because she’s
anorexic and breakable.
WIL WHEATON: Yeah.
KATE MICUCCI: But she
has great thighs.
Anorexic, but she
has good thighs.
WIL WHEATON: You got your Father
Joseph right here.
Moving doesn’t help you, so you
would either jump onto a
zombie and try to start
fighting him.
Or take advantage of this chance
to search, because
you’re going to be probably
fighting zombies for the next
couple of turns.
RIKI LINDHOME: Oh yeah, and if
you search we might find what
we’re looking for, which is
the keys and the gas.

KATE MICUCCI: Let’s search.
WIL WHEATON: Maybe
somebody dropped
their keys in the church.
KATE MICUCCI: Oh, well,
I got an item.
WIL WHEATON: Oh, all right.
And that’s for Father Joseph.
Whoa!
Father Joseph has a chainsaw!
KATE MICUCCI: He just
got way cooler.
FELICIA DAY: Oh my God, I want
to see this movie now!
WIL WHEATON: Here you go.
FELICIA DAY: Whoa!
[SCREAMS]
WIL WHEATON: You get
to have that.
Congratulations, you have
a chainsaw now.
FELICIA DAY: How did you
just have that here?
WIL WHEATON: I’m magic, dude.
RIKI LINDHOME: It’s
like Mary Poppins.
KATE MICUCCI: I’m kind of like,
what else can we draw
in, like cheesecake?
FELICIA DAY: Cheesecake?
WIL WHEATON: I’m really hoping
that there’s a beer in a
zombie deck.
KATE MICUCCI: This is
kind of awesome.
WIL WHEATON: Yes.
FELICIA DAY: It’s everything
you want it to be, Kate.
WIL WHEATON: What did you do?
KATE MICUCCI: Rrrrr!
RIKI LINDHOME: Ah!
KATE MICUCCI: Watch out!
RIKI LINDHOME: Watch out–
KATE MICUCCI: Bam!
Oh,
RIKI LINDHOME: You
got me, I died.
I’m going to draw.
FELICIA DAY: Certainly.
WIL WHEATON: From right.
And then we’ll come
back to you for–
RIKI LINDHOME: Oh,
I got an item.
I got an explosive.
Any time during your move you
may discard to douse your
space with any adjacent
space with gas–
OK, gasoline.
WIL WHEATON: You
have gasoline?
RIKI LINDHOME: Yes.
WIL WHEATON: You need gasoline
to win the game!
KATE MICUCCI: That’s
a good one!
RIKI LINDHOME: Oh my God!
WIL WHEATON: That’s good!
And remember, what does
Jake get to do?
What is Jake’s special power?
RIKI LINDHOME: Draw two cards.
WIL WHEATON: Yeah.
RIKI LINDHOME: So I can
draw another one?
FELICIA DAY: What?
You already have one
half the game?
WIL WHEATON: Draw two cards.
And does he get to keep them
both or does he have to
discard one?
RIKI LINDHOME: Oh, choose
which one to keep.
WIL WHEATON: But draw
the other one,
because what if it’s–
RIKI LINDHOME: The keys.
WIL WHEATON: Yeah.
Why am I helping you.
RIKI LINDHOME: It’s a bat.
I already have a bat.
WIL WHEATON: You don’t want
the bat, discard the bat.
Bats are for [BLEEP].
RIKI LINDHOME: Bats
are for Johnny.
WIL WHEATON: Yeah, and
Johnny’s a [BLEEP].
RIKI LINDHOME: He’s a [BLEEP].
FELICIA DAY: Wow.
WIL WHEATON: OK, we’re going to
do a little fighting now.
So that’s kind of exciting.
All right, so Johnny is going
to fight this guy
whose name is Hank.

KATE MICUCCI: OK,
Hank and Johnny.
WIL WHEATON: Yep.
All right, so go ahead, actually
roll three dice for
Johnny because you have
a baseball bat.
RIKI LINDHOME: Oh, no doubles.
WIL WHEATON: And then Hank,
well, you beat Hank no matter
what because you win on ties.
OK, so Hank gets fended off.
You don’t kill him, he
gets fended off.
And then I think you have to
roll a die to find out if your
baseball bat breaks.
RIKI LINDHOME: Oh.
WIL WHEATON: So just don’t
roll a one or a two.
Good, your baseball
bat is fine.
So I believe that that is the
end of the heroes phase.

FELICIA DAY: So we have to do
this battle right here?
KATE MICUCCI: Father Joseph
is ready to battle.
FELICIA DAY: Here’s me, this
is the orange one.
KATE MICUCCI: Five, six.
WIL WHEATON: Oh, guess what?
FELICIA DAY: Ga– ah,
this is not right!
KATE MICUCCI: That
Cheetos died.
WIL WHEATON: Yep.
Zombie, your Cheetos
are rolled in half.
OK, now you get to fight this
guy with the chainsaw.
RIKI LINDHOME: A
one and a five.
WIL WHEATON: Guess
what happens?
KATE MICUCCI: What?
FELICIA DAY: You die.
KATE MICUCCI: I die?
WIL WHEATON: No, you
lose the fight.
KATE MICUCCI: Hold on,
hold on, hold on.
Can I bring out one of these?
WIL WHEATON: Sure.
KATE MICUCCI: When to hero’s
about to take a wound, prevent
that wound.
WIL WHEATON: Yeah,
that’s right.
You don’t take a wound.
But there’s the thing, you
still lost that fight.
It means that your chainsaw
jammed and
you lose the chainsaw.
KATE MICUCCI: No!
WIL WHEATON: Yeah, you have
to discard the chainsaw.
FELICIA DAY: No, that was
such a good chainsaw.
WIL WHEATON: I’m sorry.
Here, I’ve got to
take it back.
Put it back down here in the
mysterious thing of wonders.
FELICIA DAY: What else do
you have down there?
WIL WHEATON: Don’t be looking.
FELICIA DAY: I want to see
what’s down there!
Is there cheesecake?
WIL WHEATON: No, there’s
no cheesecake.
It’s the heroes’ turn.
RIKI LINDHOME: Yay!
WIL WHEATON: So you can
move or search.
RIKI LINDHOME: So I’m going to
draw a Jake card right now.
KATE MICUCCI: OK, go for it.
WIL WHEATON: Yeah, Jake
gets to do that.
RIKI LINDHOME: Oh,
I got an item.
I got a revolver.
WIL WHEATON: Oh, dude!
RIKI LINDHOME: You may target
one zombie within range.
Roll a D6, the zombie is a hit
on the roll of four plus.
On the role of one,
the revolver is
out of ammo, discard.
And then this guy I shouldn’t
move either.
So Johnny is going
to– oh my gosh,
Johnny also got a revolver.
FELICIA DAY: What?
WIL WHEATON: What?
RIKI LINDHOME: Double
revolver.
FELICIA DAY: Can you
have two weapons?
WIL WHEATON: Yeah,
you can I think.
RIKI LINDHOME: Johnny has a
bat, and– because they do
different things.
WIL WHEATON: Hey, and I just
remembered that Jake gets to
search twice.
So even though you probably
shouldn’t, go
ahead and search again.
And then decide if you want to
keep the revolver or whatever
you just drew.
RIKI LINDHOME: Oh, just
what I needed.
KATE MICUCCI: Just
what I needed!
FELICIA DAY: What?
WIL WHEATON: Oh no!
All right, so just what I need
is a super special card for
the heroes.
Yeah, what it means is that Ric
Ocasek flies in with the
body of a fly, he runs up on a
piece of soap while you’re
trying to take a bath.
RIKI LINDHOME: Paulina
Porizkova’s showering.
WIL WHEATON: Yep, and then he
walks around on the surface of
your swimming pool.
Then, just for me, Phoebe
Cates climbs out of that
swimming pool and takes off
her shirt, it’s awesome.
And now you get to go searching
through the deck for
anything you want.
RIKI LINDHOME: For keys,
which is what I want.
WIL WHEATON: Gosh is it probably
going to be the keys?
RIKI LINDHOME: It’s the keys.
KATE MICUCCI: And ladies and
gentlemen, please welcome Ric
Ocasek and Phoebe Cates.
RIKI LINDHOME: You look
on this half, and I’ll
look on this half.
WIL WHEATON: Oh look,
how’s that?
Oh, we have so many cards to
search through we just have to
split them up between
the two of us.
FELICIA DAY: We’re
so adorable.
Whatever.
KATE MICUCCI: I’m just looking
for keys, guys.
WIL WHEATON: We’re a super cute,
incredibly successful
musical duo that
everyone loves.
And look at how good we are.
KATE MICUCCI: Guess
what, Riki?
RIKI LINDHOME: You found it?
Oh, there it is.
KATE MICUCCI: We found it.
FELICIA DAY: Oh my gosh.
WIL WHEATON: OK, so you have to
discard the revolver which
I’m sure is breaking
your heart.
RIKI LINDHOME: Aw!
WIL WHEATON: Yeah, but then you
have keys– the same guy
has keys and gas?
RIKI LINDHOME: Jake
Cartwright.
FELICIA DAY: So Jake Cartwright,
he just needs to
grab one person and go?
WIL WHEATON: All Jake Cartwright
has to do is not
get killed by that zombie.
KATE MICUCCI: Oh no, oh no.
Why am I scared?
RIKI LINDHOME: So
I put this back?
WIL WHEATON: Yeah, that goes
in the discard pile.
And then you guys are looking
good right now.
And also you’re doing
well in the game.
KATE MICUCCI: Thank you.
RIKI LINDHOME: Thank you.
WIL WHEATON: Ha, ha,
I just turned into
a creep for a second!
FELICIA DAY: Creepster!
You’re like a YouTube
commenter.
WIL WHEATON: I know, right?
FELICIA DAY: Like, hey,
boob sweet, ha ha ha.
WIL WHEATON: All right,
so you’ve
just done your searching.
So let’s fight in the gym,
and then roll another
die for your thing.
RIKI LINDHOME: Oh!
WIL WHEATON: You win.
You win no matter what.
FELICIA DAY: Wait–
FELICIA DAY: Describe
what happened.
RIKI LINDHOME: OK,
so I’m Johnny.
And I like to relive everything
from my senior year
game which I got the
home run on.
And so I looked at his head
and I pictured it was a
baseball and I hit it.
It exploded, and I got a home
run and I got to [BLEEP]
a bunch of girls.

FELICIA DAY: That’s the best.
WIL WHEATON: You’re the best
Johnny I’ve ever played with
in this game, that was great.
Good for you, Johnny.
My favorite thing about Riki is
how much she’s gotten into
the story of her characters.
That’s what makes a game like
this so much more than just
rolling dice and hoping that
you get big numbers.
FELICIA DAY: Her Johnny
is a douchebag.
WIL WHEATON: Yeah, I love
to hate that guy.
It’s on you.
We’re going to lose this
game if you don’t
kill Jake right now.
FELICIA DAY: No, basically Jake
needs to die because he’s
got the goods.
RIKI LINDHOME: He’s
not going to die.
FELICIA DAY: We are–
WIL WHEATON: What?
What?
FELICIA DAY: She
didn’t kill me.
RIKI LINDHOME: Uh uh.
FELICIA DAY: She
didn’t kill me.
WIL WHEATON: All right,
you get to roll
two extra fight dice.
FELICIA DAY: Oh yes!
WIL WHEATON: I just
played a card.
The name of the card
is [INAUDIBLE].
FELICIA DAY: So I can
roll two more dice.
WIL WHEATON: And it
lets a zombie roll
two extra fight dice.
You rolled a five and a six.
I’m also playing a card called
“Undead Hate the Living.” Play
this card to hate a hero,
forcing them to re-roll any
number of their fight dice.
FELICIA DAY: Oh, what?
WIL WHEATON: OK, I hate Jake
Cartwright, he has to re-roll
both of his fight dice.
RIKI LINDHOME: Oh, crap!
WIL WHEATON: The black
die’s no good.
You rolled a three
and a three.
FELICIA DAY: That’s
good, right?
WIL WHEATON: Jake still wins.
FELICIA DAY: I feel like the
other team has been extremely
good dice rolling skills.
Or they brought their
own weighted dice.
RIKI LINDHOME: See, Jake
is using the secret.
He’s using women,
food, and God.
He’s using all of
the overbooks.
WIL WHEATON: Jake’s using the
power of psuedoscience bull
[BLEEP]
to defeat zombies.
RIKI LINDHOME: The power of
Johnathan Franzan and Eckhart
Tolle and he’s just moving
right through it.
WIL WHEATON: OK, good job.
Now we roll to spawn
new zombies.
FELICIA DAY: We roll
to spawn a zombie.
WIL WHEATON: I’m not going
to spawn anything.
You rolled a six?
FELICIA DAY: I rolled a six.
WIL WHEATON: Oh, you are
spawning zombies, Felicia.
FELICIA DAY: So I get to
spawn some zombies.
So three zombies get put in the
I’d like to come out soon.
WIL WHEATON: Now we move
zombies, right?
FELICIA DAY: Yeah.
WIL WHEATON: So, he is drawn
by zombie bloodlust there.
FELICIA DAY: This is
the problem here.
WIL WHEATON: This one over
here is drawn by zombie
bloodlust there.
FELICIA DAY: Wait, I’ve
got to move mine.
WIL WHEATON: Oh right, sorry.
FELICIA DAY: Would you
move mine from
the car surfing into–
yes, right there.
But you know, Dr. Hannah–
WIL WHEATON: Yeah?
WIL WHEATON: Dr. Hannah just
remembers operating on a woman
named Louise last week, she
had an appendectomy.
So he’s going to go over
here and just perform
the surgery on air.
So it’s really sad cut to.
RIKI LINDHOME: It’s so sad.
WIL WHEATON: It’s oddly specific
zombie behavior.
FELICIA DAY: He’s just
having a flashback.
He has a sliver of
humanity left.
WIL WHEATON: It’s time for the
zombies to attack your ass.
FELICIA DAY: Oh!
WIL WHEATON: So why don’t we
just resolve clockwise?
So my first–
RIKI LINDHOME: So this guy?
WIL WHEATON: Yeah, my
first zombie attacks
Jake, he rolls a three.
RIKI LINDHOME: I got two twos.
WIL WHEATON: Jake rolls–
double twos?
RIKI LINDHOME: Boom,
you’re dead.
WIL WHEATON: Wait, did
you also roll a four?
RIKI LINDHOME: I got
double twos.
WIL WHEATON: No, no,
you don’t win.
RIKI LINDHOME: Oh, because
it’s lower?
Well wait, I have to be higher
and get doubles?
WIL WHEATON: Yeah.
Oh no, guess what
I have for you?
A wound marker.
Guess what?
KATE MICUCCI: Just put it
in the discard pile.
RIKI LINDHOME: It’s OK.
WIL WHEATON: Now this zombie’s
going to attack you.
OK?
KATE MICUCCI: You got
it, you got it.
WIL WHEATON: I rolled a six.
Here’s another wound for
Jake Cartwright.
KATE MICUCCI: Uh oh.
WIL WHEATON: Felicia,
kill that [BLEEP]
drifter.
KATE MICUCCI: I can’t look.
WIL WHEATON: Oh, you rolled
double fours!
RIKI LINDHOME: Double fours.
WIL WHEATON: We’ve got a tie!
KATE MICUCCI: What
does that mean?
WIL WHEATON: It means that
Felicia wins on a tie.
RIKI LINDHOME: But the single
beats the double?
So my guy dies?
WIL WHEATON: Yeah.
When we mobbed the
drifter, awesome.
FELICIA DAY: Good times.
KATE MICUCCI: We’ll
remember Jake.
RIKI LINDHOME: Yeah,
poor Jake.

WIL WHEATON: See, your new
character will be Sheriff
Anderson, the small
town lawman.
He starts in the middle
of the board.
So he was like hey guys, by the
way, I’ve been sleeping in
the truck all this time.
What’s going– zombies?
FELICIA DAY: What?
WIL WHEATON: What’s going on?
RIKI LINDHOME: I should help.
WIL WHEATON: And the zombies
have now all knocked Jake on
the ground and they’re
eating him.
This is like a really gross
scene in the movie.
FELICIA DAY: In my mind, I had
his intestines in my teeth.
WIL WHEATON: Yeah, and in my
mind, one of my other zombies
had the other end of the
intestines and those two
zombies came together.
FELICIA DAY: It was
kind of like–
WIL WHEATON: It was like that
movie with the dogs.
FELICIA DAY: “Lady
and the Tramp.”
WIL WHEATON: “Lady and
the Tramp.” Yeah, it
was just like that.

Now we move the zombies,
right?
So let’s see, rah, he’s going
to come this way.
FELICIA DAY: Mine gets
confused and
goes the other way.
OK and then my guy’s all rah!
FELICIA DAY: Yeah, and then this
guy, he’s confused, too.
They’re all drunk on
intestine wall.
So my guy goes this way.
And then Dr. Hannah–
RIKI LINDHOME: Is he
still doing the
surgery during on air?
WIL WHEATON: What’s happening
with Dr. Hannah?
FELICIA DAY: I feel like Dr.
Hannah remembered that he
needed to give an injection to
an older woman named Bertha
who has type 2 diabetes.
WIL WHEATON: Do you think maybe
Dr. Hannah might go
looking through a file cabinet
on his next turn, realize that
we’re about to lose the game,
and get a note that says leave
the [BLEEP]
hospital and come out and
try to eat some humans?
FELICIA DAY: Do you know
what’s going to happen?
People are going to give Dr.
Hannah more backstory.
They’re going to figure
out what medical
school he went to.
They’re going to figure out what
he dreams about at night.
WIL WHEATON: He’s an
illiterate doctor!
FELICIA DAY: No, that is
not his back story!
WIL WHEATON: That’s the
saddest thing ever!
FELICIA DAY: Stop giving
Dr. Hannah backstory!
Dr. Hannah is responsible, he
got straight A’s in medical
school, he had a slight
addiction to Xanax, illegally,
but he overcame that and now he
just has a whiskey problem.
And now he’s going
to go to give
Bertha her insulin injection.
WIL WHEATON: I [BLEEP]
hate Dr. Hannah.
RIKI LINDHOME: I think Felicia’s
a terrible player
because of her whole Dr.
Hannah strategy.
FELICIA DAY: Dr. Hannah wakes
up sleepy and tries
to turn the TV on.
Because he really likes watching
“General Hospital.”
WIL WHEATON: Listen,
would you just–
FELICIA DAY: Dr. Hannah had
so much paperwork he
forgot to do that.
He’s going to go into here in
this reception area and just
file around.
And then he’s going to find some
naughty pictures of the
Hispanic receptionist,
Maria Sanchez.
And he’s going to–

Dr. Hannah remembers that he
left a really good salmon
salad sandwich in the mini
fridge in the doctor waiting
room, and that’s over here.
And he is really into
salmon salad.
It’s very healthy– omega-3
fatty acids.
I am a role player, and I
shouldn’t have to apologize
for making Dr. Hannah a
fully-fledged zombie back story.

So I’m going to attack.
WIL WHEATON: He’s going to spend
a turn eating his salmon
instead of moving?
FELICIA DAY: Yes.
I’m role-playing!
WIL WHEATON: He’s not going to
take his sandwich with him and
maybe go after a guy?
FELICIA DAY: He’s taking a
nap then, because he has
post-salmon sleepies.
OK, so listen, I’m not
a hero but I have
to role-play something.
I’m going to attack
the priest.
Did you attack?
WIL WHEATON: No, you go ahead.
You attack the priest.
FELICIA DAY: I’m going
to attack the priest.
Forget that.
That is a–
WIL WHEATON: Five and a six.
Bring those dice together
so everybody can see.
FELICIA DAY: All right, and
now you attack the priest.
WIL WHEATON: Now I’m going
to attack the priest.
Four?
RIKI LINDHOME: You can do it.
KATE MICUCCI: No, no, no.
WIL WHEATON: Oh, no, you rolled
doubles which would
kill me, but I rolled
more than you so you
take a wound, finally!
Finally!
I finally hurt you!
FELICIA DAY: Yay.
RIKI LINDHOME: It’s called
you don’t matter.
You don’t matter, these
people matter.
It’s OK.
FELICIA DAY: So I’m going
to attack Johnny.
WIL WHEATON: OK, now
attack Johnny.
Kill that nerd.
Uh oh!
RIKI LINDHOME: Oh, no!
WIL WHEATON: Wounded!
FELICIA DAY: Wounded!
KATE MICUCCI: Crap, this game
is getting really hard.
WIL WHEATON: So go ahead and
roll to see what happens.
RIKI LINDHOME: Double fours!
WIL WHEATON: OK, so four for
Sally, four for the Father.
Sally can–
FELICIA DAY: Sally can
move to the car.
RIKI LINDHOME: Yeah, you
got to go to the car.
KATE MICUCCI: So can I just
do that as one, two?
WIL WHEATON: She’s in the car.
KATE MICUCCI: Yes!
FELICIA DAY: When I saw Sally
finally get to the truck with
the keys, I knew that
we were messed up.
WIL WHEATON: And now it
the zombie’s turns.
We move– you guys
traded, right?
FELICIA DAY: You guys want
to get in that car soon.
WIL WHEATON: So it’s us now.
KATE MICUCCI: But I
am curious, how
is Dr. Hannah doing?
FELICIA DAY: You know,
Dr. Hannah, he’s
getting a little lonely.
So he’s going to touch himself
inappropriately.
KATE MICUCCI: Aw!
RIKI LINDHOME: He needs
little zombie friends.
WIL WHEATON: Is he just
going right through
the hole in his hand?
FELICIA DAY: Well, that’s
what I’m saying.
It fell off.
KATE MICUCCI: Oh.
FELICIA DAY: It’s a sad
thing in there.
We need to move all our
zombies, right?
RIKI LINDHOME: Yeah.
FELICIA DAY: So I’m going
to move, rargh.
WIL WHEATON: I also get to roll
to spawn new zombies,
even though it’s probably
not going to happen.
FELICIA DAY: He’s going to move
to the morgue to do that
dirty [INAUDIBLE].
WIL WHEATON: One, two,
three, four, five.
Did you roll for zombies?
FELICIA DAY: Yes, I did.
I did not get new ones.
WIL WHEATON: I get a new zombie
because I rolled a six.
FELICIA DAY: And you
get to attack.
WIL WHEATON: Ready?
FELICIA DAY: Let’s do this.
WIL WHEATON: Let’s do this.
RIKI LINDHOME: One more time.
WIL WHEATON: I rolled a four.
RIKI LINDHOME: Oh, shoot.
WIL WHEATON: And you
rolled a four.
KATE MICUCCI: What
does it mean?
RIKI LINDHOME: He dies.
WIL WHEATON: It means
that he’s dead.
FELICIA DAY: You got nothing?
WIL WHEATON: D- E-A- D. This
actually works out
really well for you.
Because now you are going to
have two people in the truck.
KATE MICUCCI: What
do you mean?
WIL WHEATON: You have
to get two people–
RIKI LINDHOME: We get
another character.
WIL WHEATON: You got to get
two people in the truck.
Your new character is Billy
the Sheriff’s son.
FELICIA DAY: Goodbye,
Sheriff, bye.
WIL WHEATON: Oh, no, the
Sheriff, your son
is now in the game.
Turns out Billy was also
sleeping in the back of the
truck, and the Sheriff
just forgot to wake
him up when he left.
FELICIA DAY: I think it actually
helped them to
actually die.
Because then they had new people
appear in the truck
they needed to escape in.
WIL WHEATON: Yeah, yeah,
that actually really
helped them a lot.

RIKI LINDHOME: It’s Kate’s
turn, right?
KATE MICUCCI: Yeah,
who am I fighting?
FELICIA DAY: You’re not
fighting anybody.
WIL WHEATON: You’re not fighting
anybody because both
of your guys are busy
in the truck.
Mom and dad are fighting!
RIKI LINDHOME: No, you want
to move this guy out.
Because you want to
fight this one.
So maybe kill that one.
FELICIA DAY: That’s
a good idea.
RIKI LINDHOME: You’ve got to
roll and move that over there.
KATE MICUCCI: Riki,
you are on it.
WIL WHEATON: Riki, you are
super good at this game.
Did he put his pants on before
he got out to do that?
KATE MICUCCI: Six and two.
No, he didn’t.
It was very awkward.
WIL WHEATON: Yeah, he
can totally move.
I feel like I have to point out
another thing to your guys
that you could have done
because you just
didn’t think of it.
They’re in the same space.
She gives him the keys.
She’s like I don’t want to live
another day without you.
Jake, here, take these keys.
I’m going to go pitchfork
that zombie.
No, you can’t go!
I must.
And then she goes out.
A little role reversal
empowered women.
I gave the girls bad advice.
I told them to go out
of the truck.
I didn’t realize that Sally
could have stayed in the truck
and done all that pitchforky
stuff in the truck.
And I’m sure [INAUDIBLE] going
to be mad at me about that.
They’re going to be like, you
did not play “Last Night on
Earth” in the optimal way.
RIKI LINDHOME: So basically
all I have to
do is get in there.
FELICIA DAY: Well, you get in
there and spend a whole turn
in there turning the
gas on and putting
the gas in the car.
The humans might probably
exscape.
WIL WHEATON: Did you
say exscape?
FELICIA DAY: Shut up.
WIL WHEATON: Why don’t
you axe her again.
Now we move zombies.
Yeah, that zombie has to
go there because of
zombie blood lust.
That zombie has to go there
because of zombie bloodlust.
Gosh, Felicia, what’s Dr.
Hannah going to do?
FELICIA DAY: Dr. Hannah sees
that there’s a “People”
magazine in the waiting room
and he really wants to know
about that latest celebrity
wedding.
I really messed up when I made
Dr. Hannah picked up “People,”
because he’s much
more a “Popular
Mechanics” kind of guy.
WIL WHEATON: Oh, come on!
And now I got one more zombie
that can fight her.
RIKI LINDHOME: Two.
Uh oh.
Uh oh.
WIL WHEATON: Die!
Yes!
FELICIA DAY: Yes!
WIL WHEATON: Brains!
Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum.
And that zombie on the zombie
turn is going to be so full of
energy and excitement.
FELICIA DAY: Even if
she was anorexic,
there is enough there.
WIL WHEATON: There
is enough there.
And now you get a new card.
Your new character’s
Becky the nurse.
RIKI LINDHOME: Maybe Becky
can repopulate.
WIL WHEATON: Becky the nurse
shows up in the truck which
makes kids feel–
they’re really excited.
FELICIA DAY: Yeah, it
the zombies’ turn.
WIL WHEATON: Zombie turn.
Zombies go move that to four.
And now we move our zombies.
I’m imagining we’re all going
to go into the truck.
KATE MICUCCI: Oh, they
can go in the truck?
WIL WHEATON: Yeah,
of course we can.
We’re all one square away.
This game is totally
about teamwork.
FELICIA DAY: Except a little
bit of teamwork.
WIL WHEATON: Yeah, and also Dr.
Hannah, who apparently is
playing on his own team.
OK so what happens now is–
FELICIA DAY: The truck was
filled up on Johnny’s turn.
WIL WHEATON: Yeah, the truck
is already filled up.
It’s your turn now?
We’re done?
It’s your turn?
FELICIA DAY: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
WIL WHEATON: Are you going to
leave the Sheriff to die?
RIKI LINDHOME: Yeah.

WIL WHEATON: Then what happens
is, you step on the gas, the
zombies fall off the truck.
You guys drive out of town.
RIKI LINDHOME: And
the Sheriff dies.
WIL WHEATON: The heroes
have survived the
last night on Earth.
RIKI LINDHOME: Yay!
This is without a doubt the
best day of our lives.
KATE MICUCCI: I still
am like trying to–
like, is this real?
RIKI LINDHOME: I know.
It’s better than the
day we were born.
KATE MICUCCI: Pretty much.
RIKI LINDHOME: Really.
This was amazing.
WIL WHEATON: Look, you guys get
to go downstairs to the
victory wall where you’re
going to get a trophy.
RIKI LINDHOME: Oh, good.
WIL WHEATON: And we get to go
to Dr. Hannah’s lounge.
Which we normally call the
loser’s lounge, but tonight
it’s called Dr. [BLEEP]
Hannah’s lounge.
Let’s go see, I wonder
if Dr. Hannah’s going
to be on the couch?
I’m pretty sure he is.
KATE MICUCCI: Well, I think–
thank you, by the way.
RIKI LINDHOME: You think
thank you by the way?
WIL WHEATON: You think?
Are you sure?
RIKI LINDHOME: I think
thank you.
WIL WHEATON: I think
you’re welcome.

You know how we always do that
joke about how it looks like
bourbon, but it isn’t
really bourbon?
FELICIA DAY: Uh huh.
WIL WHEATON: I’m not going
to do that joke today.
FELICIA DAY: Why not?
WIL WHEATON: Because I want
you to sit here and think
about what Dr. Hannah
would do.

Yeah.
I’m going downstairs to
talk to Kate and Riki
about winning the game.

FELICIA DAY: Dr. Hannah, do
you want some not bourbon?
You do.

WIL WHEATON: Now, your
untainted victory.
RIKI LINDHOME: Oh, gosh.
WIL WHEATON: Is memorialized
with the Table
Top trophy of awesome!
RIKI LINDHOME: Oh my God.
WIL WHEATON: Look at that.
KATE MICUCCI: Oh, my heart’s
beating so fast.
RIKI LINDHOME: I never
won anything before.
WIL WHEATON: Really?
RIKI LINDHOME: Yeah, this is the
first time anything good
has happened.
WIL WHEATON: Well, I think
we have to make sure that
everyone knows that this
is your trophy.
I’m putting your name on it.
RIKI LINDHOME: I’m going
to keep it forever.
WIL WHEATON: Riki and Kate.
There you go, Don’t get
too attached to it.
KATE MICUCCI: I’ll get
it on the weekends.
WIL WHEATON: Make a speech.
RIKI LINDHOME: Oh my gosh.
WIL WHEATON: Go ahead,
make a speech.
KATE MICUCCI: This just
means so much really.
RIKI LINDHOME: This is the
best thing that’s ever
happened to us.
KATE MICUCCI: I’m
like shaking.
RIKI LINDHOME: I know,
I can’t even hold it.
KATE MICUCCI: I’m really
shaking so much.
WIL WHEATON: I have to
take the trophy back.
KATE MICUCCI: Why?
RIKI LINDHOME: Why?
WIL WHEATON: Because we don’t
have enough in the budget to
afford more than one trophy.
RIKI LINDHOME: How much
is the trophy?
WIL WHEATON: $1,000.
RIKI LINDHOME: Oh.
WIL WHEATON: But you get
to keep this tape with
your name on it.
KATE MICUCCI: That’s nice!
WIL WHEATON: So everyone knows
for the rest of the day that
that’s who you are!
RIKI LINDHOME: It’s so special!
Thank you.
WIL WHEATON: Yay!
Congratulations, you guys.
RIKI LINDHOME: Thank you.
WIL WHEATON: Happy Halloween,
everybody at home.
Happy Halloween,
Kate and Riki.
KATE MICUCCI: Happy Halloween.
WIL WHEATON: And we’ll see you
next time on Table Top.
RIKI LINDHOME: Bye.

RIKI LINDHOME: I want
to learn how to make
your water gates flow.
I’m [INAUDIBLE]
that I might never know.
How to HJ your LB Johnson
know less about Dicks
and Samantha Ronson.
I should have explored new
frontiers like Wil Wheaton,
but I was more conservative
than Alex P. Keaton.
I’ve fallen into crisis just
like the DOW, I want to give a
handle, but I don’t know how.
Do do do do, yeah.
FELICIA DAY: Wow.
You are certainly–
WIL WHEATON: Garfunkle and
Oates, ladies and gentlemen.

100 Comments

Add a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *