Girlfriends Game Night – SNL


>>WHAT TIME IS IT?
IS JEANNIE STILL COMING?>>I JUST GOT A TEXT.
SHE’S SAYING THEY’RE IN THE ELEVATOR.
>>THEY? OH, MY GOD.
>>WAIT, IS SHE BRINGING HER BOYFRIEND?
>>HIS NAME IS HORACE AND THEY’RE MARRIED, REMEMBER?
>>DOES SHE GO ANYWHERE WITHOUT HIM?
IT’S JUST SO WEIRD.>>YOU JUST THINK IT’S WEIRD
BECAUSE HE’S AROUND OLDER MAN.>>OH, SHH, SHH — THEY’RE
COMING.>>HI, HI.
SORRY WE’RE LATE. IT’S BEEN A CHAOTIC WEEK.
HORACE’S SONS ARE SUING ME AGAIN.
HOARACE. OH, HE’S LOOKING AT YOUR —
HEY! HORACE!
BE CAREFUL. YOU ARE BEING SUCH A DUDE RIGHT
NOW. GOD, MEN.
HOW DO WE, LADIES?>>SPEAKING OF ANNA, HOW WAS
YOUR HONEYMOON?>>OH, PARIS WAS AMAZING.
>>HORACE, THEY WENT TO PARIS! ANNA WENT TO PARIS!
>>UH-HUH.>>THAT’S SO ROMANTIC.
>>YOU KNOW, HORACE USED TO LIVE IN PARIS.
DURING WORLD WAR II. HE CAN SPEAK FLUENT FRENCH.
HORACE SPEAK SOME FRENCH! HORACE, SPEAK FRENCH TO THEM.
>>NO.>>OH, MR. COMEDIAN.
BECAUSE “NO” IS THE SAME IN FRENCH.
OH, YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU’RE LAUGHING AT YOUR OWN
JOKES MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE, AS USUAL.
>>IS HE STILL LAUGHING OR IS MAYBE SOMETHING WRONG?
>>NO. HE’S JUST TICKLED.
DON’T ENCOURAGE HIM.>>ARE YOU SURE HE’S OKAY?
>>YES. JUST LET HIM HAVE HIS LAUGHING
FIT. ARE YOU DONE?
>>OKAY.>>SO ARE WE GOING TO PLAY UNO
OR WHAT?>>YES.
>>I’M READY?>>OH, IS HORACE PLAYING?
>>JEANNIE, IT’S HERE NOW.>>LIKE RIGHT NOW?
THAT’S INCONVENIENT.>>WHAT’S HERE?
>>YOU KNOW HOW WE’RE TRYING TO GET PREGNANT AND I’VE BEEN
WORKING WITH A SPECIALIST AND DOING ALL THESE TREATMENTS.
YADDA, YADDA, YADDA — HIS CIALIS KICKED IN.
>>IT’S HERE. WE GOTTA GO.
>>WAIT. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
>>WELL, WE JUST HAVE TO TAKE ADVANTAGE WHEN IT’S HERE.
‘CAUSE, YOU KNOW.>>WHY?
>>BUT, YOU KNOW WHAT, DON’T WORRY.
‘CAUSE I HAVE THE COURTESY BLANKET.
SO, YOU WON’T SEE ANYTHING.>>YO!
YEP!>>WAIT, WAIT.
DON’T DO THAT HERE.>>OH, IT’S A GOOD ONE.
>>WE HAVE TO. YOU GUYS KNOW HOW MUCH I WANT A
BABY.>>OH, MY GOD.
YOU CAN’T DO THAT OLD MAN HERE.>>OH, YEAH!
LOOK OUT!>>YOU GUYS, IT’S LIKE
BREAST-FEEDING IN PUBLIC. IT’S ABOUT ACCOMPLISHING A TASK,
NOT A SEXUAL THING.>>BUT SEX IS A SEXUAL THING.
>>NO, ANNA, BELIEVE ME, THIS IS SCIENCE BY THE NUMBERS.
IT’S CLINICAL, BORING.>>OKAY, WELL, CAN YOU AT LEAST
USE THE BEDROOM?>>DON’T OFFER MY BEDROOM, I
SLEEP IN THERE.>>GUYS, IT’S NOTHING, OKAY?
I CAN TALK AND CHEW GUM AT THE SAME TIME.
LET’S JUST PLAY. HORACE, CAN YOU TAKE ME TO THE
TABLE?>>SLOW, HORACE.
SLOW. HORACE.
HORACE. SLOW.
HORACE.>>THOSE ARE MY CARDS.
>>OKAY, I WILL GO FIRST, I GUESS.
>>OH, YEAH.>>MY CARDS ARE TERRIBLE.
>>YOU KNOW WHAT, I’M SORRY. I CAN’T DO THIS.
I CAN’T –>>YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR CARDS IF
YOU WANT.>>NOT THE GAME, YOU ON YOUR
HUSBAND DOING THAT.>>YOU GUYS, SERIOUSLY, YOU KNOW
HOW IMPORTANT BEING A MOM IS TO ME P.M.
>>I KNOW THAT, AND I’M TRYING TO NOT SEE WHAT I’M SEEING, BUT
I THINK THIS IS MAKING IT TO THE POINT WHERE I CAN NEVER LOOK AT
YOU AGAIN.>>OH, MY GOD, DOES EVERYONE
FEEL THAT WAY?>>ACTUALLY, YEAH.
>>WOW! OKAY.
I GUESS WE WILL LEAVE. COME ON, HORACE.
SLOW. SLOW.
HORACE.>>YOU KNOW WHAT, NO.
YOU KNOW WHAT, YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES.
THIS WOMAN IS YOUR FRIEND. SHE ALWAYS DREAMED OF BEING A
MOM. IT’S BEEN A VERY DIFFICULT
JOURNEY FOR HER. AND SHE NEEDS YOUR SUPPORT, IF
YOU CAN’T GIVE HER THAT, THEN YOU’RE NOT A KIND FRIEND.
>>YOU’RE RIGHT.>>WE ARE SORRY.
>>YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE AN EXCELLENT MOTHER.
>>OH!>>HORACE.
OKAY.

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