– Can we name the name brand ketchup? – Let’s talk about that. (groovy music) Good mythical morning. – Condiments, they’re like helpful food sherpas skillfully guiding your meal, steering you around bland snowdrifts into the safe passage of
well rounded flavor profiles with the collective
knowledge of all side sauces that came before completing your journey
safely, soundly, deliciously at the summit of yummy mountain. – But are all condiments created equal or are name brands truly superior to their off brand counterparts? It’s time for Knock-Off
Knockout Side Goo Edition. – Okay we’ll be playing this just like we played the
beverages episode awhile back. In each round, we’ll have four ramekins of a particular condiment in front of us and one of those will
contain the big name brand that we all know. – Right.
– Or do we? And then the other three will have some variety of store brand or lesser known brand
version of that condiment. – Whoever loses has to eat a
big ole spoonful of Josh sauce which who knows what that
could be or what’s in that but let’s let the tasting begin. – [Both] Round one. – Alright, we got some ketchups here. The question is which one is Heinz. – Okay, just want to
go down the line here? – I’m looking at the, this one looks a little brighter/lighter but they’re kinda the same.
– This is the darkest one. – Darkest. So we’ll start here with, I don’t want to get too much, you know? That’s a very fruit forward.
– It’s acidic. It’s good though. – I’m just gonna use
the same spoon ’cause, – It’s tainted. – How do you taint it? – You tainted it with other ketchup. – Whatever then, I’ll get a new spoon. Okay. – Mmm. – This one is much more vinegary. – It’s good, man. – But I would say they
added vinegar to ketchup. That’s not just ketchup. – But ketchup has vinegar. – It’s a lot more pungent. – Doesn’t all ketchup have vinegar? Any ketchup that’s worth its
salt has salt and vinegar. – But not that much. This tastes like baby food. – You like that?
– I like that. – I like the vinegary one. – It’s got a good top and a bottom to it. – It’s too sweet and baby foodish for me. – Baby food? Now the dark one, the dark horse. I am so confused right now. – This is the most vinegary, this one’s a close second. I’m ready to guess. – I just eat ketchup by
the spoonful all day. – [Stevie] I need you to stab your sauce in three, two, one. – We both voted for our favorites which doesn’t mean that much. Okay. – [Stevie] The Heinz brand ketchup is in ramekin number four. – What? It’s the dark one. – It’s the dark one.
– Okay, so it was my second favorite one. – [Stevie] Number one is Kroger. Number two is Market Pantry which is Target’s brand. – Okay. – [Stevie] Number three is Great Value which is Walmart’s brand. – Yeah I like Walmart’s brand. – I’m a Target, I’m classy. – [Both] Round two. – Okay, we got four brands of mayo. One of these is Hellmann’s which is also known as Best Foods if you’re on the west coast. – This one’s I would say
a little pinker, yellower. – Pinker? This one’s whiter. This one’s the whitest one and these all three seem yellow. – Hmm, I would eat mayonnaise
by the spoonful as a kid. – You like that? – I do. – I don’t like that. – I’m a Duke’s man, true southern mayonnaise which is probably not
gonna be one of these. – Now that’s what I’m talking about. That’s getting more into
a mayonnaise situation. – That’s better.
– There’s eggs in that. That’s fake. – I think that one has more, I think vinegar, isn’t there vinegar in… – Getting better. – That one’s good too. – That one’s better than that one. – I don’t know if this
one’s better than this one. – What about this one? Is that one better than that one? – [Link] This one’s the yellow. – Oh whoa, that one bites you back. What in the world’s happening with that? That’s good. – It’s that vinegar
you’re picking up on, man. – Yeah, you right. – I think it’s too much. – It might be too much. – But I might like it.
– You know what, I’m confident. – [Stevie] Okay. Three, two, one. – Yep. – [Stevie] Dangerous there. – This one is the most pungent and all three of these are good. That one’s not great. – That one’s horrible. This one, this is special, special in a very special way. This must be Hellmannn’s. – [Stevie] The Hellmann’s brand is in ramekin number one. – No, what? No! – [Stevie] Yeah, the most horrible one apparently.
– It’s crappyish. – [Stevie] Number two was Trader Joe’s. Number three was First Street which is Smart and Final’s brand and number four is Duke’s. – Duke’s. – Duke’s, the one that
you said I’m a Duke’s man. – Duke’s. You talking ’bout Duke’s? There aint no way y’all
actually got Duke’s. – [Both] Round three. – Alright, we got a bunch
of srirachas or srirachas but we’re looking for the sriracha that we all know from the
rooster, Huy Fong sriracha. – Huy Fong. – Huy Fong? – Huy Fong. – Huy Fong. – Huy Fong. – The rooster, rooster. – [Rhett] Rooster sauce, man. – [Link] Let’s start down here. – Oh hmm, it’s good, tastes good. – That is strong, whew! Whew! Whew! – I got to go a little bit easy on that. – I went kind of hard on the first one. Huh?
– Super sweet. – I’m trying to not let the first one mess up the second one.
– Now my mouth is confused. – Yeah, that’s tough. – I think I actually know
where this one’s from. – This one is watery. – [Rhett] And it’s also browner. – It’s got a lot more pieces in it. – It’s gritty.
– Gritty. – Granular.
– Granular, even. And this one’s bright. – Like a fish sauce. – Yeah, that one’s totally different. That’s not it, don’t like it. – They’re all so different. – This one’s not great. It’s down to these two.
– Granular brown, fishy, one of these. – I’m having a hard time. – This one’s hot. – Yeah that one, okay, I’m ready to vote. I’m ready to eat some ice cream if you want to know the truth. – [Stevie] Three, two, one. – Yep, it’s definitely got to be that first one.
– Oh Link, you are really scaring me with the way that you’re
wielding that thing. – Scary, get scared girl. – [Stevie] The Huy Fong is in ramekin number two. – Dang it. – What’s one? – [Stevie] One is Texas Pete which I myself was not familiar with that they made that.
– Texas Pete makes a sriracha, huh? – Well it’s good. This is Trader Joe’s.
– Number three is Sky Valley Foods. – Oh Sky Valley Foods. – [Stevie] And number
four is Fix Signature. – Fix
– Dang. Okay that one, we should’ve got that one. – [Both] Round four. – Okay, one of these is French’s, the classic yellow mustard. – Let’s use paint brushes. – Why not? – Starting down here, this is kind of a middle
of the road yellow. It seems to be pretty firm in the way that it sits in the ramekin. – Then you just paint your tongue. Mmm, this is a good way to eat mustard. – After the sriracha it brought out the spicy in the mustard. This one’s darker. This is like… Wow.
– They’re so different. They’re both still mustard though. That’s the thing. – This one is more striking like bright and striking
flavors, I would call it. – This one is the brightest of the colors. – Yeah. – Mmm, oh, yep.
– Milder. – But in the same family as number two. – A better taste, I would say. – Better taste? – I think it has a… – I think I’m tasting paint brush. Now this is, number
four is smooth and dark. – [Stevie] I feel like the people deserve a Rhett on Link painting and vice versa for this final one. I’m just saying it. – Would that make you happy Stevie? – [Stevie] It would make me
and my people very pleased in the comments. But you rejected it. You just straight up rejected it. – No, I got another paint brush. This is my Link brush. I was saving it for you. By the way– – Were you not actually listening to her? – Don’t even try that last one. – Oh don’t even try the last one? – Don’t even try it. – Oh wow. – I mean, something’s wrong with it. It’s been sitting out. – It’s just very vinegary. Which one do you want? – What do you want me to paint? – My tongue. What are you asking? – Do you want me to paint
something on your face? – No. Paint my tongue, doofus. Okay, okay, you got the mustard spot. – Sorry, I missed a little bit. – So that’s number one, right? – Yeah that’s number one. What do you think? – Which one do you want? – Hit me with number two again. Hit me with number two. No hit me with number three. – Let me get the bitter
section of your tongue. (laughing) – [Stevie] Thank you. – Alright, I’m glad your happy. – I got to try this one again. (coughing) – That’s pungent and I
thought it was good but, tastes like paint. – I’m so confused. – I’m blown away by how smooth and horrible that is. – Yeah smooth and horrible. – Okay. Oh gosh, this is tough. – [Stevie] Three, two, one. – You know what, I’m
gonna go out on a limb because I was between the two. – I’m between one, two and
three honestly but one– – [Stevie] Are these your final answers? – Yeah. – Yeah. – [Stevie] The French’s
is in ramekin number two. Number one is Kroger, number three is Plockman’s and number four is 365 from Whole Foods. – Take it back to Whole Foods man.
– Whole Foods is, they’re not even using mustard seeds. – Yeah woo. – [Both] Round five. – Out of all these soy sauces we got to pick out the Kikkoman. – I don’t think that’s
the same commercial. – Oh, what is that? – That’s Ricola. – Ricola, oh let’s do some cough drops. – Okay, we’re gonna use droppers because that’s the only way
that I eat my soy sauce. – [Rhett] These are dark, liquid. – Oop, that’s a lot. – I mean how much soy
sauce does a man need in order to make a
decision about soy sauce? – [Link] A lot. – Tastes like soy sauce to me. There’s nothing weird about it. – I don’t need that much, man. Ooh, that’s exactly the same. – You think zactly the same? – I think zactly the same. – Zactly. I don’t know, I I feel like it’s a
little teeny bit different. – I tasted no difference. – This one’s smoother,
no bubbles in my dropper. Maybe that’s just my technique. – Whoa, really different.
– Oh no. That’s a– – This is like steak marinade. – That’s like Alegra. That’s like what my wife puts on– – Her legs when she goes to the beach. – Yep, that, London broil, that’s what I call her
when she’s at the beach. There’s my London broil, ’cause of that time she went to London in shorts. – Let me tell you, there are
some white people in London ’cause the sun never comes out there. – Oh, that’s different. That’s got a, that’s
super fishy, super fishy. Why you always put the fishy ones at four? – It’s like bad medicine. And I ain’t talking about the song. – No but I don’t know, does Kikkoman taste fishy already? – Y’all included something that wasn’t actually soy sauce and it’s this one but it’s good. You’re trying to throw us. So these that taste exactly the same.
– I always feel like it’s either one or two in every single time that I’ve done this. – Man, our blood pressure’s
gonna go through the roof. This one’s the saltiest. – Okay, I’ve got a guess. I don’t know what to think about it. – [Stevie] Okay, let’s guess. Three, two, one. – Alright, here we are again, Rhett. – I like the shake, look at the shake. – [Stevie] The Kikkoman
is in ramekin number, ramekin number one. – Oh brother, that means we tied.
– So Rhett we have tied. – [Stevie] Aren’t you
curious as to the other, yeah, two is Signature Kitchen which is Safeway’s brand. – Pretty good. – [Stevie] Three is La Choy. And four is San-J. – This is La Choy? – Yep.
– Does is say soy sauce on the bottle or something else? – It does not taste like soy sauce and the last one tastes like fish sauce. But you know what, I’m happy because neither of us
have to eat Josh sauce. – No Rhett, it means
that we both have to eat Sir Joshington’s Josh Sauce, squeezable sandwich butter. – We’re gonna enjoy that
in Good Mythical More. – Thank you for liking,
commenting and subscribing. – You know what time it is. – Hey I’m Jake. – And I’m Brandon. – And we’re currently
traveling North America in our 2004 Honda Civic but we reside in Levingworth, Kansas. – And it’s time to spin
the wheel of mythicality. – Is that a Civic ad? – Yeah, it’s the best kind of Civic ad, the ones where they don’t show a Civic. – Stay tuned for Good Mythical More where we’re going to put different condiments
on sugar cookies. – Oh we gonna invent. And to find out where the
wheel of mythicality’s gonna land. – [Rhett] Steer your ears towards some biscuits you can hear. Listen to new episodes of Ear
Biscuits now on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.